The Good Listening To Show: Stories of Distinction & Genius

35 "Legacy: Life Reflections" Episode With My Father - Colin Grimes (AKA Dad!)

• Chris Grimes - Facilitator. Coach. Motivational Comedian • Season 3 • Episode 1

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Welcome to an exciting new departure to "The Good Listening To Podcast"!

A new GLT series strand called "Legacy: Life Reflections", inspired by William Shakespeare's "All the World's Stage".

It's the opportunity to join me in the "GLT Clearing" to share your story - and reflect  on your "Life's-Lessons-Learned" along your way.  And also share what you'd like your legacy to be: How would you most like to be remembered?

So to that end - please welcome to the GLT Clearing:  Colin Grimes a.k.a my Father! 

A life trailblazer and "serial organiser and fixer" (!) born in Middlesborough and emigrated to Uganda with 3 children (including me!) in tow - at my age equivalent of 28 - in the mid 1960's.  

Get him!

So yes! 

This is the inaugural Episode of the new GLT series strand called "Legacy: Life Reflections".
In talking to my father - Colin Grimes - and inspired by William Shakespeare's "All The World's A Stage Speech"  in "As You Like It":

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages..."

Jaques: Act II Scene VII

This is the opportunity to have a special Episode of The Good Listening To Podcast - with all the elements of its strong storytelling construct - wrapped around and dedicated entirely (and privately if you wish?) to you and your Life’s Story.

(The idea being: A new “Private Series” strand to the Good Listening To Podcast: 

A Zoom Podcast series for private individuals, whereby I ‘wrap’ an Episode of the “The Good Listening To Podcast” - with all of the elements of its strong storytelling construct - around the life story (and the life’s-lessons-learned along the way) of you or another member of your family)

And as always - as my guest here in the Podcast - "Now is your 'moment in the sunshine' to share your story!"

Who are you? What's your story? And what 'life-lessons-learned-along-the-way' would you like to share with us? And just to get bit "existential on yo ass" too (!) what would you like your legacy to be?  How would you most like to be remembered?

So - thanks for listening to another episode of a "GLT with me CG!"

The Podcast series that always features "The Clearing":  Where all good questions come to be asked and all good stories come to be told!

With some lovely juicy storytelling metaphors to also enjoy along the way:

The Clearing itself - A Tree (where we get to "shake your tree to see which storytelling apples fall out, in the form of a lovely storytelling exercise called "5-4-3-2-1") - some Alchemy - some Gold - and finally a Cake with a Cherry on Top!

Think "Desert Island Discs" but in a Clearin

Tune in next week for more stories of 'Distinction & Genius' from The Good Listening To Show 'Clearing'. If you would like to be my Guest too then you can find out HOW via the different 'series strands' at 'The Good Listening To Show' website.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW wherever you get your Podcasts :)

Thanks for listening!

And we're recording!
So yes,
welcome to another,
particularly - if I may say - exciting episode of "The Good.
Listening To Podcast" with me,
Chris Grimes!, because you might see - the clue's in the title
if you're watching the film version of this:
I'm delighted to welcome to the "Good Listening To" or "GLT 
Clearing" Mr Colin Grimes...
Now,
the clue's in the title there - otherwise known as "My father!"
So, Colin Grimes
Welcome to the Clearing!
How are you today?
I'm particularly good today
thank you very much -
I'm having a good day...
Wonderful to have you here as well.
And so what I'm gonna do rather fascinating is I'm going to take you through the 
normal route map of the "Good.
Listening To" podcasts where we're going to talk about clearing what that represents to you,
where they're going to shake your tree to see which apples fall out.
We'll talk about alchemy and gold,
and then will bathe in the sort of stories that you've learned - the life lessons that you've learned 
along the way.
And then,
as with everyone else,
I'll give you a cake at the end of it,
where we'll put a cherry on the cake.
We might get slightly more profound in the idea of the legacy of the conversation,
which will come onto later on.
So, just to position as to why I wanted to talk to you particularly.
One of the things that always,
I suppose,
fascinated and intrigued me was your ability to be a 19 sixties trail blazer.
Because the stunning thing is at my age equivalent of 28 - and I'm 58 now.
In the mid sixties,
you did something incredibly brave,
which allows me to talk about one of the most interesting parts of my biography 
in that you,
at my age equivalent,
emigrated to Uganda at the age of 28 with three kids under the 
age of eight.
I was trying to do the maths on that.
That was an incredibly trail blazing and pioneering thing to do in the mid sixties,
escaping North Ormesby in Middlesbrough to go to Uganda,
which now allows me to say,
Hey,
I grew up in Uganda,
till I was nearly 10 years old,
so I'm hoping and probably sure we might talk about that in part,
too.
But that's just to position you.
But first of all,
let's just ask you:
What is a clearing like for you,
Dad a k a Colin Grimes?
Strangely enough,
looking at your briefing this is one of the most difficult thing that I found to find the answer to.
I think I can honestly say I don't need a clearing in the 
accepted sense of the word.
I find that whatever environment I'm in,
if I'm in some sort of deep thought or 
ideas to be generated,
I can
switch off.
quite automatically from whatever is going on around me,
I'm just the almost self sufficient and make my own clearing or 
isolation and 'er work within the environment.
I happen to be in the present time.
I don't need to sort of go to bed or go into a darkened room or find a 
favourite chair or anything.
I'm able to switch on into a
reflective mood any time I choose to.
So it sounds to me like it's sort of an internal switch within your own mindscape that you could get into you to 
shift.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Before we spoke,
I fully expected it might be something like a bowling green or your happy place where you go 
to be at your most happiest.
I find happiness in all sorts of places.
I mean,
ideally,
once a year
our great happiness is off to Madeira,
and I'm having four or five weeks in such wonderful surroundings there.
But I don't use that time to be particularly reflective.
I just bask and enjoy the the pleasures as they come.
Ah ah Towards New Year's Eve.
I suppose one gets more reflective every year,
but apart from that,
no,
I enjoy my bowling.
I enjoy being in Madeira
I enjoy being at home.
I enjoy doing my crosswords every day.
But when it comes to the sort of thing that you're looking for,
you know,
sort of reflective and intellectual development or reviewing one's
situation in life,
or or even, as we probably get onto now, beginning to think of one's legacy,
it's not something that I have to find a particular place to do.
I could be creative wherever I am.
So there's a lovely thread or through-line there,
a golden thread of your ability to be truly present in whatever's in front of you,
Yes, yes that's the way it works.
Lovely.
So in terms of life,
lessons and reflections were going to get onto that next.
So we're going to now bring a tree, metaphorically, into 
your clearing,
which is rather comical.
Turn,
bring a tree into your head and we're going to shake your tree to see which apples fall out.
And you too have done the prep that I've asked everybody else to do.
so far,
we've had five minutes.
Colin Grimes,
a k a.
Dad,
to think about four things that have shaped you; three things that inspire you;
two things that never fail to grab your attention and then one quirky or unusual 
fact about you that we couldn't possibly know until you tell us.  You don't have to download 
all apples simultaneously wherever you want.
So over to you.
How do you like them apples?
Let's talk about the four things that have shaped you.
Four things that have shaped me?
I think undoubtedly one has to say family generally and
wife in particular.
As
you're aware we've been married now for 63 years.
We've known each other since our very early teenage years and
inevitably,
over those 63 years we've grown and developed together and
I think Mom has had a tremendous influence on the way in which she's reined back 
some of my excesses and
at the same time given me the support and the room and the air to develop 
in those areas where we've mutually felt it is beneficial for our our family 
and our general lives.
Sorry!  Carry on.
And when you first met,
I know there is a family story about you being in baggy scout shorts up a tree and 
ironically up a tree, there
So,
Mom had a look at your apples at an early age.
(Laughter)
So it's North Ormesby in Middlesbrough where obviously we're from that you're from specifically.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah,
And I think that you know,
one of the questions you er .... I think you are wanting to know who am 
I.
How would I define myself?
I think we have to start with North Ormesby,
which, as probably anybody who is listening is hardly likely to know, is a pretty downmarket,
borderline slum area,
but is - or was at that time - a dormitory town 
for the iron and steel steel industry and all of the associated
and peripheral activities like steel fabrication,
shipbuilding,
coal mining,
chemical works and so on.
So who am I?  I see myself now, looking back, as,
if you like, a success of the social mobility move,
there's no doubt about it.
Whichever way you look at it,
we have moved upwardly,
if you like,
very significantly from those  early days and
I look back with great pride on what we've managed to achieve from such humble beginnings.
And you talked about the social mobility factor there.
Obviously my grandfather,
your dad, worked in the steel works that you mentioned there. 
Indeed, uh
in a very lowly labouring, unskilled capacity.
He
worked very hard.
He was a product of the Depression in the twenties where 
he
was out of work and having to 
really walk around and offer himself trying find work whenever he could.  And there are stories of 
him walking in winter with paper stuffed into his boots because he had no 
no solid shoewear no,
no footwear,
no shoes,
et cetera.
And he obviously - and the families generally - had a very hard life.
But then ......
So therein lies - that that's where that story comes from.
About "When I was a lad,
I walked 20 miles through bare feet in'tsnow."
That's where that comes from.
(Laughter)
Yeah,
that's right.
Yeah,
really?
You had shoes to use?
I did
from stuff,
you know?
Yeah,
But then I was very lucky.
If you like,
I don't know where it came from because both in family terms and in 
local community terms,
I was one of the very,
very few,
first of all,
to pass the 11 plus examination, as it was then and then 
subsequently to go on to university.
Nobody,
absolutely nobody In the immediate area in which we lived 
had never gone to university before.
So through that route - the education route,
I was able to take the first steps in this social mobility that we've been talking 
about.
That indeed is that sort of trailblazing instinct,
I suppose,
which then - it's nothing short of a very brave decision to escape that 
environment and then go as far afield as Uganda is very far flung as a solution to 
Putting ..... Again,
trying to put into that that into some sort of perspective.
Having found myself on this trajectory where, sadly,
in many ways, I was -  I won't say obliged or forced.
But I found myself in the situation where my immediate family ties were 
loosening because there was no way in which my parents and the wider 
family could relate to the university experience,
let alone the grammar school experience.
I found myself drifting further and further away from immediate family ties 
I .....  At grammar school.
Conversely,
that was not a particularly pleasant experience, because I came 
from "the wrong side of the tracks" and
I was very seriously bullied throughout the whole seven years that I was at 
school.
So when I then eventually went on to university,
it was totally transformative because I suddenly found myself 
"top of the pops",
if you like.
For some reason,
I was immediately amongst the most popular of the most well 
received and well accepted people in in the peer group in which I found 
myself and that led me into being active within the social life of 
the university.
I was elected first of all,
believe it or not, as Head Barman for the organisation!
Then I became secretary of the Social Committee.
Then I became chairman of the Social Committee - and that meant sort of Vice 
Presidency of the Union, the Student's Union.
This is Keele University,
wasn't it?
Keele university.
Yeah,
And the cherry on the cake was that I was then invited to host Princess Margaret, as the President of the university, and was chairman of the Royal Ball Committee.
Marvellous!
There's social mobility right there.
Absolutely and I suddenly .... then from the 
feelings of sort of uncertainty and insecurity from 
grammar school,  suddenly had this very secure and warm feeling that I 
perhaps had something to offer.
And I was perhaps,
I say,
a better person.
I was more acceptable socially and
capable of engaging with people at the highest levels of society.
perfectly well.
So that was the next big influence on my life.
Then,
having gone into ..... from, from university,
gone into teaching - and again,
I found myself involved not just in the teaching,
but in many extra curricular activities.
I was running.
I was secretary of the staff association at the college -  both colleges,
which I was at - Longlands College of Further Education and Cleveland 
Technical college.
Um,
and again on
This is pre Uganda?
This is your first part of your teaching career,
Wasn't it?
The first part of my teaching career.
Then the opportunity to go to Uganda.
arose and I had had a very,
very low expectations of being accepted and
I'd put in a speculative application one very cold,
wintry November day -  again at Mom's suggestion.
It was her prodding that led me to do this.
I put in a speculative application and "lo and behold!"
six months later,
in the following April,
off we went and that was it.
No idea what to expect.
We had had some preparatory work by going to a Civil Service 
college down in Farnham Castle,
where we were given,
a week's residential course on what to expect.
But at that time I'd been told that I was going up into the semi desert 
northern area of Uganda.
But three weeks before we were due to go,
I got a letter from head mistress of that school saying,
Sorry,
we couldn't because the house wasn't ready and I found myself switched to the 
wonderful southern area,
lush part of Uganda down in Jinja.
So even all the preparatory work we had done was more or less 
wasted because we found ourselves in a totally different environment from that that we've been 
led to expect.
There's a lovely thing about windows of opportunity there,
and there's a quote that I have struck on of late,
which is "What's meant for you won't pass you by."
And so there are windows of opportunity on quite a lubricated hinge there where you 
answered the ad and then you ended up somewhere different.
But you went with the winds of being present to what was there.
And you you landed in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.
I'm assuming?
Well, I have no regrets whatsoever.
because once again,
within the mixed expatriate community,
we were dealing with people of United Nations level right down to 
the other .......
the local Africans and the,
uh,
the society of which we operated, and I very soon was able 
to cultivate very close relationships with all levels of society.
And again.
the evidence for that is I was once again elected as 
chairman of clubs,
chairman of various committees.
I held the very difficult position of the Expatriate 
Representative on the Government Housing Committee.
Now that led me .......that gave me responsibility for 
finding suitable housing for all expatriates that were coming out to 
work in Uganda at the same time as people 
from the locals,
from the army and from the police and from the civil service, we're fighting 
for ,,,,,,,  Not "fighting" for
but we're in competition for the same limited housing stock.
And that really taught one.
the art of diplomacy,
on how,
without being described or without threat of being regarded as a 
racialist.
Anything to get the best deal possible for what was the 
the white and therefore expatriate population over the local 
population who had equally strong grounds for wanting good housing.
So that was a very interesting experience.
And there is a recurring theme all your life about you finding yourself in the pivotal position within committees.
You know,
you've been well,
get onto this.
I'm sure that you've been. You're a sort of lifelong fixer.
If you want something done properly,
ask Colin Grimes,
No doubt about it.
I'm an inveterate committee,
man.
I can't think of any time since the age of 
16 that I've not been involved in one committee or another.
of some kind.
I've been on committees and on such 
groups for my entire life.
and still am - even the ripe old age of 83.
I still sit on four different committees and do what little I can on a voluntary basis.
I just love it.
So if you want something done properly,
get Colin Grimes involved,
he'll fix it.
So there's something there in giving 
back
But there is one influence over ....... If we're talking.
Still talking
of influences, there is one influence in my life.
I cannot underestimate.
and that takes us back to the days when I was in my very young ..... sort of 
12 to 18 ..... my grammar school days.
Mom and I were very,
very active in the church.
By the way,
just before we move away from that in a few paragraphs ago,
I didn't know that you'd been sort of serially bullied for the seven years at grammar 
school.
That's very interesting that I've not heard that before or not,
you know,
really?
Yeah,
but fact,
a fact of life.
It was just one of these things that,
you know Grimes came from ..... from ..... his father was a labourer.
He
came from the wrong side of the tracks and therefore was to be singled out 
immediately
as someone different?
Ah ah,
and
whether or not there was an element ...... who can explain why bullying takes place?
I don't know.  All I could do and by way of response,
just get my head down and work like mad and make sure that I got the results academically that 
the grammar school opportunity presented to me.
So that's exactly what I did.
And it positions would be very sort of adaptable and flexible in your life.
And he started off as an outlier within your own home environment or school environment.
And then the more you've gone out into the big,
wide world,
you've constantly found demographics of upward ascension.
That's exactly it,
Yeah,
But, as I was saying,
there's one influence.
one strong influence I can't ignore and that's the local Vicar 
Reverend
Nicholas Breene
he was called.  Mom and I
as
I said,
were active in the church.
So much so I was running the scout group.
Mom and I were running the local youth club.
We were running the Sunday school and
we had a nice sort of social group,
all of like minded people,
youngsters like ourselves.
We were very immersed in the church and I used to be 
used to be a server.
and read the lessons and even sing the offices sometimes
at Evensong and some of those services Now the vicar took me under his wing.
In describing the relationship.
in modern terms,
there would be alarm bells ringing like mad because he used to 
invite me up to his vicarage
and he used to invite me to sit with him and do my homework.
He used to read,
asked me to read out my English essays and we would discuss them.
He made his library available to me.
He used to give me half a crown now and again as extra pocket money to 
enable me to do things  - and didn't want to .....
He would also take me on holiday with him .....
(Crikey!)  ..... provided that
I was wearing my scout uniform!
Now you can see where all the alarm bells in modern society begin.
But there was absolutely no suggestion or hint of any kind that 
there was anything by way of what we call today "grooming" going on,
other than he was grooming me for a higher purpose,
and it was completely ah,
altruistic.
as far as he was concerned.
He took as much pride in my development 
as,
in fact,
more pride in it than my parents probably did,
because he was able to relate to what I was going through far more than they did.
So he had a sort of vicarious enjoyment intent of your further development.  Exactly 
Genuine integrity field intent to help nurture a fellow human being 
Absolutely.
And I wasn't alone.
We were a group of perhaps eight or nine,
I think,
from memory, that used to be together.
The servers group,
/guild,
as it were.  I was the one ...... in a series,
..... over the three or four years that I'm talking about, when I was the sort of "head" server 
and we were going on holiday together.
Yeah,
I was the only one going on holiday with him.
And,
you know,
I'd come to the top of the pile, if you like.
Yeah,
but he had done a similar thing with others before me and 
continued to do the same sort of thing after me.
But he ..... the main thing that he gave me was was this 
inspiration to work hard and to develop what intellectual skills 
I had and to to ..... support and .....
stimulate my my thinking and my learning ability,
et cetera.
Did you keep in touch with .....?
He helped, through those very difficult years,
a
great deal.
So did you return to keeping in touch with him, often as life went on?
No.
We stayed in touch ....
He married mom and I.
He married us..... in the church.
Then when I went off to university,
um,
I had a sort of transition.
Um,
At Keele
there was a foundation.
year that had to be done.
It was a four year course,
and you had to study subjects that you had not studied at uni .....  at A level.
Now, my A levels were English,
French and British Constitution.
Um,
I decided, amongst many other things, at Keele to study 
Historical Theology and unfortunately,
in studying the historical part of theology,
my faith received a tremendous knocking and
I'm afraid it ......  just sort of removed any 
residual faith that I might have had.
and since then,
I've been  - increasingly so - atheistic and 
ah,
a complete unbeliever, if you have it in those terms.
So ...... we lost direct touch.
We stopped corresponding with each other and then,
very shortly after my first year at University.
he simply disappeared from scene.
Um,
I've tried for ..... many,
many occasions to find out if there was anything untoward,
in the background,
but have been unable to do so.
I've not been able to find out what happened to him.
My parents.
who
at
that time we're working as Vergers in the church,
helping ..... caretakers,
helping to keep the church clean.
and my mother doing the job that I had done writing up marriage Banns
and taking record of parish records.
They were not able to give me any explanation,
either.
But sadly,
he just disappeared entirely from my life and from the parish of North Ormesby.
So he remains an enigma,
a force in your life.
And are we saying he's someone that shaped you or he's an influencer or both?
Both.
Yeah,
yeah,
And just say his name once again I know its Breene.
Nicholas Breene.  B R double E N E 
He was actually a Southern Irish Protestant,
which again,
is something very,
very strange at the time.  But there he was a lovely Southern Irish 
brogue,
but he was Protestant rather than Roman Catholic.
And his reputation ....and his reputation,
A lovely man.
his reputation in your heart remains true to this day that there was nothing
Oh absolutely!
Nothing at all.  Non altru .......
What?
It was an altruistic intent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there you go.  You have the influences.
There's a wife and family ,,,,,, the university,
Uganda and .....  Nicholas Breene.  Those I think are the 
four definitely life-enhancing and life shaping 
experiences that have brought me to where I am to be today.
Wonderful.
Okay,
So now was were overlapping slightly in terms of the things that influence you as well.
But let's get a move away from four things that shaped you to three things that inspire you now.
Again,
pretty difficult.
I think there are.
I think I have to recognise that I'm .... as well as
being an inveterate committee man -  and
 and perhaps that might explain why I'm an inveterate Committee man - is I think I'm also a born
teacher.
Nothing inspires me more than seeing an 
opportunity to participate in and participate in a way which 
improves things.
Yeah,
in whatever I've been doing professionally,
I've never been satisfied just to sit back and "do the job".
I've always looked around to gather around me people 
with similar occupations,
similar professions and then generate a  range of activities 
which either help to improve performance or, as it
was in the latter stages of my career, recognition of what we were doing as 
an acceptable "profession".
So the opportunity to get in and do 
things to improve things is a great inspiration to me.
I just love nothing better than that.
And I consider myself the DNA of the fact.
you know,
I teacher trained before I actor trained,
and that was thanks to your very good parental advice when I was 19.
"If you want to be an actor, be a teacher first."
I've thanked you for that because it all came true
but also as we know your granddaughter,
Lily,
my daughter is now training to become a primary school teacher.
So there's something about the desire to help and enable others and
better them through our participation,
which is definitely there is a thread,
Of course!
yeah,
The other thing that I find great inspiration for is in all 
kinds of artistic expression,
whether it be language,
whether it be photography,
whether it be fine art,
painting,
drawing, music,
the whole range of artistic expression,
I find myself greatly inspired by performance at the highest level 
in all of those areas.
Ah,
like yourself,
I think you are developing along the same lines.   I'm deeply interested in - 
always have been - in language and
I love nothing more than sitting and listening to people who are expressing 
themselves well and clearly and ...
It just gives me a great thrill and enables me then to
aspire to keep my language skills going and become as eloquent as I
possibly can.
So the art of communication is what you're referring to?  Absolutely! 
yeah,
Ah ..... I mean ... uh  
all of these have got to have some sort of output, if you like and
I'm always thrilled by 
observing the synergy that comes out of group activities.
Yeah,
You ... you could sit there and do as much original thinking as you like,
but unless a) you could be persuasive on other people or b)  your 
you're you're seeing other people develop as a result of your thoughts and 
ideas.
Synergy is a fantastic feeling,
Whether it's standing in front of a class,
standing in front of an audience of 500 or just sitting in a committee of three or four of 
you and together working on a problem and seeing this solution,
If you like, all this
this development - of whatever kind -blossom, it is a fantastic feeling.
There's nothing like it.
So you're a collaborator and a galvanising of others as this,
like the committee member that you are?And my record would tend to prove that, I think 
Unquestionably, very good!
So anything else you wanna tell us about anything else that inspires you?
No.
I think that's pretty wide and covers most things I think.
An appreciation of high art,
language,
culture and all that shebang.
And now we're going to talk about two things that never fail in the world of - Oh squirrels! - 
to get your attention.
So in life,
what always grabs your attention?
Uh ..... I think .....  Here we .......
We've got to have to two.
I think I've already mentioned, by overlap. High quality artistic expression in 
whatever field.   I'm immediately grabbed by a piece of music or a 
piece of artwork or or whatever.
And that's that gives you the good feeling.
Unfortunately, as I get older,
I find myself increasingly ..... find things to annoy me.
(Laughter) The Old Git's Society!
(Indistinct mumble)
You're not literally the president of that,
but I can relate to that the irascible old age that I am.
Ah,
now I have to admit that there are many,
many things in today's society that really do upset me.
This "woke" business that we're all going through at the moment.
The idea of.......
..... well, I mean the "woke"  thing itself.
It accepts something as right one day and  in the following days,
totally wrong.
Getting to the point where people of my age, of my tradition are becoming 
frightened to say things because we're not sure who we're going to upset 
next by simple use of effective language.
We would see it,
er b.......
I mean,
I'm getting to the stage now where I hate to use the word "black",
for example,
in any context.
Yeah,
we used to have a laugh and said,
No,
no,
I can't.
I'll take my coffee with milk,
please.
And that used to be a joke.
Now you can't say anything like this without risking upsetting some people 
of being completely shunned.
Isolated,
I forget.
What's the modern word?
Ostracised?.
Ostracised ... yes...,
but there is a new word where things going on at 
universities at the moment where they won't have speakers coming in because they're 
expressing an opinion which is contrary to what happens to be the fashion of the day.
Yeah,
I forget that word  ,,,,,
So, er, a sort of terrain or landscape of egg shells that are
very difficult to tread without crunching on somebody.
Absolutely!  Yeah,
I.......I'm hesitating now,
as I say,
one of the things that really,
really upsets me is this business about gender assignment, at the moment.
Yeah,
I mean,
I have a simple view of life.
There are male and female,
"God
created them both" -  going back to my former days.
Right?  Anyway that's the "natural" state of affairs.
Anything else, by definition,
therefore,
is "unnatural".
Once I start following down that line,
you can see where I go at the extremes of some of my thoughts.
But I don't intend to express them here.
I can feel some "crunching" happening.
We're on eggshells.
That's very good.
Yeah,
But ... so ... So there's two things.  One I get,
I get really inspired by artistic expression of the highest quality and I get 
really,
really annoyed by the way in which,
on .....
..And longevity in experience,
therefore has also allowed for a bit of a binary perception,
if you like, because it either fits in with that frame or it's not within that frame.
Exactly.
It's venom and
anti venom as opposed to,
you know,
problem solution,
new way of thinking.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
So yeah,
you know
put in those two camps, that's it.  Inspiration, 
otherwise,
I can't see where else inspiration comes from.
I have to say when I asked you what never fails to grab your attention.
I did strongly suspect that this is where bowls would come in because I'm obsessed with 
ping pong as my ball of choice.
And now tennis .. as in
you and (Squirrels!)  is "Where's Dad?"
"He's at the bowling green."
So you must talk about that at some point.
But you don't have to.
Talk about what?
Bowls.  Because
you know you are like I'm obsessed with ping pong.
You're obsessed with bowls because you're the President of the club - Syston Bowls Club.
You may or may not have been going to talk about that,
Um .. it just happens to be a pastime that I 
enjoy and,
as I said earlier in this conversation,
having joined the club,
I'm a great believer.
If you join a club,
then you contribute.
You don't just sit back and let others do the work.
Then there was an opportunity,
to ....
I observed an opportunity to help and improve.
This was aided by the fact that I was approached by the then committee 
to come in and join them and help them develop.
So it's been an arena
in which I've been able to prolong my active life by applying 
those skills and talents that I've got to turning this very little 
insignificant club to one of the highest regarded in the county,
both on and off the green,
and one of the best managed clubs,
probably in the country,
Right there!
The Covid pandemic,
for example,
we are all living through at the moment,
many bowling clubs in this area are on the verge of collapse because 
of their lack of structure and financial security.
Syston Bowling Club is now sitting with nearly £30,000 in the bank 
and very solid foundations and a good management 
team.
to look after them.  And that, again, is a matter of pride.
And it's something which,
you know, I got hold of it, ticking that box of ......  saw the opportunity to do it,
"Tick!" - its there.
And just to be clear,
it's not that it's not held overnight in a safe within the bowls club.
(Laughter)
But then,
you know the converse then happens.
One gets to the point where one is so highly valued 
or regarded that you get to the situation where anything that goes 
wrong within the club,
it's "Oh, ask Colin he'll know."
Try as I might to then withdraw myself gradually,
perhaps to do other things in other areas.
it's just too damned difficult because their reliance is there.
So, if you like,
it's a failure on my part,
not just to develop,
but to actually complete the teaching, the education.
It's a very slow and laborious process because you know what was one willing helper 
here
why the hell would anybody else volunteer to do it?  And er... 
The comedian in me thinks that -  also the coaching in me thinks - that we should maybe talk to you about the art of delegation.
But, you know, (laughter) if you want something done properly
do it yourself.
I'm an arch delegator.
There's no .......
I'm sure you are.
you know .....
it's ah, no problem at all.
it's a bit restricting,
The actual bowling itself
on the green, during the summer months, is outdoor exercise and 
at our age
there's very little opportunity.
to, er
get out and have physical exercise.
Yeah,
It's just an opportunity.
which I grasp with both hands,
and I've certainly missed it this year because I've been able to play maybe 
once or twice a week.
That's all and a couple of competitions.
Instead of being three or four times a week enjoying it and er ...
physically the effects are there.
I've not had as much exercise and I'm not one for .....  I mean,
I've had a yoga mat,
which I bought when I first retired,
which still is in the wrapping 
I bought it in.
(Laughter)
You know,
I'm not one for following Mr Motivator, or whatever, doing your exercises 
for half an hour every day on the bathroom floor.
I didn't think you were, Dad!
That's where we can both agree on that.
That's good.
So, moving away from the two things that er .... we're now on to a quirky or unusual fact 
about you Colin Grimes that we couldn't know unless you told us.
Well,
apparently I've told you one already that I was I was the object of 
bullying at school,
but I find it difficult because 
as a family,
I believe we've had a very open relationship where there has been 
nothing which has been taboo or we haven't  ........ that
we've had to keep back from each other.
I guess I could only fall back on,
sort of,
say,
one of the biggest regrets of my life  - that would probably 
come as a surprise,
maybe - 
is .... My biggest regret is that I never learned to play the piano.
Okay.
And I do envy ....... going back to this artistic expression,
et cetera .......
I now really do envy people who can just go to a piano and just 
tinkle out a few tunes etcetera.
Yeah,
I really kick myself for not taking up or bowing to my parents'
pressure when I was 10,
11,
12 years old to take piano lessons 
and, er, had I ....
were I to have my time again.
I think that'd probably be fairly high on my list of priorities.
Second .  uff ..,
followed very closely by private airline pilot.
Okay,
I would like to be up there in the sky in one of these light aircraft flying around the 
place.  I'd love.
that freedom.
But whether they count as surprising facts,
I don't know.
I think you're  angling for an 84th birthday present dual thing
there,
which is an air licence and a piano,
but not (indistinct)
So we've shaken your tree and I'm going to move away from the tree.
but stay in the clearing,
which is,
as we said,
your ability to be truly present within your own head.
And we've been implying this because you've been giving me alchemy and gold in what your purpose is.
But in terms of alchemy and gold,
what is it Colin
Grimes always knows that he's bringing and loves to bring.
So how do you answer to alchemy and gold?
I think the thing that I'm best known for is reliability.
If Colin says he's going to do something,
he does it.
You can rely upon it being done on time to the highest quality.
Um,
And that would extend,
I hope.
I mean,
I might be taking these things for granted.
I hope in terms of parenting that is also is and always has been 
the case.  I'm always here.
I'm always there - and always will be - to help and assist wherever I 
can.
I can be relied upon to be supportive.
Not blindly so - as I think you and Adrian both know,
I do have my criticisms
but I see no point in just being blindly supportive,
but I can be relied upon for whatever is necessary at the 
time.
Yes.
And in fact I did,
get the blunt end of I rang you up
once to show you the first episode of the Good Listening to podcasts.
And you told me - not once but thrice -
how irritating you find the use of my hands whilst (indistinct under laughter)
I'm glad to see you've taken that into consideration.
Jazz hands,
they've calmed down.
slightly.
I'm sort of clamping them down there,
just in case Colin Grimes takes offence.
Very good.
So now we're coming up to a point where I got quite intrigued in the slightly new thrust 
of what we're doing now in the "seven ages of man" -  the Jacques' speech from 
"As You Like It",
which is - "All the world's a stage and every man and woman has their entrances and exits."
So,
awarding you with a cake,
I'm just going to ask you to put a cherry on the cake.
In the legacy of the conversation that we've had,
you can interpret it how you want.
I'd like to hear what your favourite inspirational quote has been that's given you succour.
Can you give us that first?
(Extended pause)
Er .....Probably the rather trite .... and er ..
"When the going gets tough,
the tough get going".   Three or four times in 
my life,
I faced very serious challenges.
Um,
I've never buckled under any of them.
I've,
I think,
taken that quote of .. Well,
OK,
the going's tough,
but let's get going and do something about it.
Ah,
so I think, although it's a bit cliched,
I'd probably have that fairly high up in my list of ah,
quotes.  Not Shakesperian or "highfalutin".
But yeah,
sort of important.
Yeah.  And in the instinct of Giving you a Damn Good Listening to, is there anything else you
want to tell me about any of those aspects that are really trialling 
to you?
That were trialling?
Yes.
Well, top of the list,
obviously,
was the loss of your sister.
Um ...
The death of Hazel was a fantastic ah,
occurrence,
one that, you know, no one should ever have to go through.
And that was a particularly trying time from all points of view,
professional,
personal,
family wise,
and all the rest of it. That would have to be at the top of the tree.
But, twice, in fairly rapid order,
in the late seventies - early eighties,
I found myself unemployed for what I regarded as no particular reason of my own - of my own doing 
Ah,
and again at that late stage in life,
where jobs were not the easiest to come by for 
people of the age I was at the time,
I believe that that "When the going gets tough,
the tough get going" kicked in and
I ...  I think, clearly, if you look back on my record,
I very successfully
addressed those and overcame them to the point where it was almost
as
though ....  I could say .... that I was ...
I had to go through those experiences because there was something greater to come out of it at the end of 
it.
and I finished up having, for 18 years, formed a company and run my own 
company,
which was highly successful
and  persists to this day.
I was able to secure the jobs for, in my day,
eight or nine people.
It's now employing 15 or 16 people,
and it's still going strong.
So yeah,
I think my record on that side of things stands for itself,
and I'm very proud of what I achieved.
And with that philosophy of innate optimism and the
future focus and the action towards ..... Now,
as you say, the dark shadow of the family is obviously the death of Hazel .... and.
how have you come to peace with that?
Or maybe you haven't.
Are you ......?
...... You ......
It's trite to say you never do come ......
You ... You .. have
to accept it.
It is a fact of life.
But re every experience in life,
every new experience,
every phase,
every stage you go through there is always coming to the fore
"If only ....." " if only ....." and, er ....
Everything one does - every new experience one has
there is a ....  there is a ...  No matter how slight, there is a a 
colouring of thought and regret and in the idea of a 
wasted life,
etcetera
and wasted opportunity and all the rest of it.
So, you come to terms with it by just accepting it as
a fact.
Yes.
But, er ......
there is no way you can "explain" it if you put it that way.
In terms of er ...
Our friend over in Spain,
Gillian, would say say,
you know,
there was ....  God had a reason for it to happen.
Well,
that to me is absolute crap.
And,
you know,
would never,
ever come anywhere near my thoughts.
You can't explain it,
but you just have to accept it and swallow hard on get through these things.
And indeed,
in my admiration for, you know,
what's happened within the family, it was such a tectonic and seismic shift 
to our experience as a family that you .. you don't wish upon anyone.
But as you say,
there's a fact of life.
Life and death are facts,
and that sense of optimism and pragmatism have been, you know,
have stood you in very good stead.
I think,
I think so.
I mean,
you mentioned the word "optimist" there.
Mom calls me her cock-eyed optimist because whatever she comes up with 
dark thoughts -  and she tends to come up with them far more regularly (laughter)
I always seem to be able to find an answer to put a smile on her face and 
get through the next 24 hours until she has the next dark thought.
I am, I'm a born optimist,
Lovely, and going back to the Seven Ages of Man and the Jacques'
"All the world's a stage" .. Just to get it slightly more profound.
Now we'll talk about legacy.
Colin Grimes
How do you think you'd most like to be remembered?
(Pause)
I'd like to be remembered as the guy that make a difference.
I don't know if .....  I think you mentioned  in an earlier 
conversation, you know, looking at this
"What would you like to see on your tombstone?" sort of thing ..
Yeah.
Um,
yeah.
"He left us in a better place than we were before we started."
sort of thing.
I'd like to think that in .. in all aspect of life,
whether that starts with family or profession or personal.
whatever it is.
I'd like to think I'm recognised for making things better.
"Colin Grimes.
The guy who made a difference."
Thank you very much indeed.
for joining me,
a k a.
your son Chris Grimes here on the "Good Listening to" podcast.
Thank you very much indeed.
Good night.
It's been my great pleasure.
Goodnight.
See you later.