The Good Listening To Show: Stories of Distinction & Genius

Founder Story: Fellow Podcast Host of 'People Are Everything' Julia Duthie, on her Journey of Resilience and Resourcefulness from Dogbone Street to the Microphone!

• Chris Grimes - Facilitator. Coach. Motivational Comedian

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From the moment you meet Julia Duthie, you're struck by her natural optimism and what she calls her "champion hustler" spirit. Behind her success as a bestselling Author, Podcast Host, and Trusted Advisor lies an extraordinary journey that began on "Dogbone Street" - a road nicknamed for its distinctive shape with two roundabouts resembling a dog bone.

Growing up in challenging circumstances, Julia essentially raised herself, developing remarkable resourcefulness at a young age. "What do you do when you're 7 with a broken toe and no parents around? How do you handle nits when there's no one to help?" These experiences, chronicled in her memoir "The House on Dogbone Street," taught her to connect with people, find creative solutions, and maintain an unshakeable positive outlook.

Music became Julia's escape. Like many children of the 70s and 80s, she'd record the Top 40 charts, carefully editing out advertisements. Her passion evolved into a ten-year musical career, beginning when a kind music shop owner named Guy allowed her to borrow a bass guitar. Julia progressed through bands including The Innocent Bystanders and The Colour Red before being signed as a solo artist.

Physical challenges have also shaped Julia's path. After suffering two prolapsed discs in her 20's, doctors told her she'd never play sports again. Working with her physiotherapist Dean, she's defied those limitations and now enjoys pickleball and kayaking, with tennis remaining her ultimate goal. This physical journey mirrors her broader life philosophy of refusing to be defined by limitations.

Perhaps most remarkable is Julia's journey toward authentic self-expression. At age 50, through therapy, she embraced her true identity. Despite having a wonderful relationship with her ex-husband (who remains important in her life), Julia had always known at a fundamental level that she was gay. Finding the courage to live authentically led to her current relationship and deep personal fulfillment.

Julia's guiding philosophy comes from Carl Jung: "I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." Her advice? "Seek out people that you energetically chime with and that make you feel good. There's 8 billion of us to play with."

Discover Julia's podcast "People Are Everything" wherever you get your podcasts, where she explores the 5 people who made her guests who they are today - a perfect reflection of her belief in the transformative power of human connection.

Tune in next week for more stories of 'Distinction & Genius' from The Good Listening To Show 'Clearing'. If you would like to be my Guest too then you can find out HOW via the different 'series strands' at 'The Good Listening To Show' website.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW wherever you get your Podcasts :)

Thanks for listening!

CHRIS GRIMES:

Welcome to another episode of the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, the storytelling show that features the Clearing, where all good questions come to get asked and all good stories come to be told, and where all my guests have two things in common they're all creative individuals and all with an interesting story to tell. There are some lovely storytelling metaphors a clearing, a tree, a juicy storytelling exercise called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, some alchemy, some gold, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare and a cake. So it's all to play for. So, yes, welcome to the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin. Boom, we're in, welcome, welcome, welcome.

CHRIS GRIMES:

This is the fourth broadcast from the glow-up studios of Future Leap. My fat head's in the way. Which way? Future Leap is that way. Future Leap Studios in Bristol, very excited to be here. Reciprocity is my favorite favorite word and Julia Duthie and I are playing a game of reciprocity. She's going to be in my podcast and I'm going to be in hers. Now, hers is very enigmatically called People Are Everything, which of course they are. And indeed we have another resonance, and I'll let you speak in a moment, julia, I'm just going to blow some happy smoke at you. We both resonate and riff off the idea of you know the good. Listening to the show is like Desert Island Discs, but in a clearing and with stories rather than music. And yours, julia, just riff on your own Desert Island Discs connection.

JULIA DUTHIE:

It's a bit like Desert Island Discs, but rather than bring music, I asked my guest to bring the five people that have shaped the person they are wonderful.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So yours is a crowd scene because people bring five people with them fantastic, whereas I just bring some comedy props. Like a golden baton they don't like it up a Mr Manring. I've got a complete works of Shakespeare, a couple of other comedy props as well, but welcome, julia Duthie, to the show. So, yes, you are the podcast host. You're a best-selling author, you're a trusted advisor and a mentor. We met on LinkedIn. You very kindly got in touch and I'm just playing some happy smoke at you. You've had two CEO positions a UScom startup company, I think you'll find, and you've been the UK MD of a Singaporean multinational, which qualifies you to be on LinkedIn for absolute definite, and that's one of the places we're streaming to. So, julia Duthie, welcome to the show. How's morale and how are you doing?

JULIA DUTHIE:

I'm good. Actually, I woke up this morning thinking we were going to have really bad weather. I don't know why Everyone kept telling me oh, the weather was going to be bad this weekend and it's really sunny, so I'm very happy. I'm very happy to be here, Chris.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Me too. So we will be playing some reciprocal happy smoke at each other, and how very quintessentially English that we've both spoken about. Well, you spoke about the weather anyway, of course. So if you've not seen the show before, I know you have. Julia, you were very kind and listened to some and were very sort of praiseworthy of what you thought about the show, and I love yours too. We both like the cuts of each other's jib.

CHRIS GRIMES:

This is the show in which I invite movers, makers, shakers, mavericks, influencers and also personal heroes into a clearing or serious happy place of my guests, choosing as they all come along to share with those with us their stories of distinction and genius. So that's what's to play for. We're going to get you on the open road. Um, if someone doesn't have a frame of reference for you, julia, I did blow a bit of happy smoke at you. As we're on linkedin, we may as well go there. That clunky hello. What do you do? Question, uh, which we hate. But what's your favorite way of answering or avoiding what julia duffy brings to the table in terms of what?

JULIA DUTHIE:

she does. Well, my main role is I. I work for a company called bridgepoint. We are a not the largest private equity firm in europe and I do value creation for them, but I'm also a podcaster, like you said, and, um, you know, people really are everything to me, so I decided to launch a podcast that kind of focused on that subject, and I am particularly fascinated by the people behind the people. So my question is always I always want to know who made you then?

CHRIS GRIMES:

And I love the fact that you're doing a mainframe side hustle, like I am, because I'm a facilitator or a coach. But at the beginning of the pandemic, one of my guests very recently very powerfully said we are where we are all of us because of decisions and choices that we made five years ago. That was Antonia Wade, who's the global chief marketing officer of PwC, as it happens, but I found that so resonant because I got going, almost as she said that five years ago to the day with a good listening, to show how long have you been going with? People are everything, julia, and how many episodes in are you?

JULIA DUTHIE:

well we've done. We've just finished season one, um, which was fab. I just loved it. I've actually pretty much recorded season two already and, uh, that's starting up again next week. Um, and I liked what you said just then, because you're right, everything that I'm doing now has kind of been led up to and feels very, very natural, feels like this is where I'm supposed to be and even like, especially in my work, my work is all about people, everything I do is people connected?

CHRIS GRIMES:

Yes, it resonates with. I've prepared my entire life for this moment. People are everything, and one of my favorite quotes when facilitating is it's all about the relationship. Stupid because it is. So let's get you on the open road of the structure. There's going to be a clearing, a tree, a lovely juicy storytelling exercise called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. There's going to be some alchemy, some gold, a couple of random squirrels, oh squirrels, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare, a couple of random squirrels, oh squirrels, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare, a golden baton and a cake. So it's all to play for. We're going to get into the who, the what, the where, the how, the why. You do what you do and at the end there's a very, very exciting. Show us your QR code section, please, where I've actually got one all ready to go for Julia Duffy's link tree. I think you'll find, but that's to come just to keep you excited. So, julia Duffy, a clearing is your serious happy place. Where do you go, would you say, to get clutter-free?

JULIA DUTHIE:

inspirational and able to think. Well, this was really easy for me. I've picked Hawesall Common and for those who don't know where Hawesall Common is, it's just near Woking, where I grew up, and it's famous, I suppose, for War of the Worlds HG Wells' War of the Worlds.

CHRIS GRIMES:

That's where the alien invasion happened. Was that right?

JULIA DUTHIE:

Yeah, it actually happened in real life. It was where he set the landing, if you like, of the aliens, and there's a big sort of sandy dust bowl there which is kind of maybe gave the inspiration of where the aliens first landed. So it's a beautiful 900 acre woodland and I've probably walked there, I'm going to say over a thousand times, must be more than a thousand times and there's a piece of, there's a this old, huge, um oak trunk, if you like, that's been carved into a seat that's right in the middle of it and, um, that's my, my happy place, that's where I go to sit, but I used to live right near there and so I, um, I used to go there pretty much every day and, um, sounds a bit morbid, but most of my pet's ashes scattered at that very spot, um, because it's so beautiful, and I used to sit there with my dogs, you know, uh, past and present, um, and it's beautiful, it's just such a beautiful piece of woodland, so that's my happy place.

CHRIS GRIMES:

What does soul chime? To know exactly where to go to place a life that has been and that has been alongside you. And then you go in factory default set, I'm assuming, by plunking your own bottom on that same seat.

JULIA DUTHIE:

As life changes and ebbs and flows, it sounds like it's completely I feel so connected to them when I'm there and and I know it probably won't be allowed, but you know I'd like to be scattered there myself. I think it would be um be fabulous that allowed, but you know I'd like to be scattered there myself.

CHRIS GRIMES:

I think it would be fabulous. That's my little, you know my place, and even if they say no, we can all do the great escape and sort of put your ashes in our trousers and sort of trot along. This is a huge assumption that I was implying I'm going to last longer. No, but none of us know.

JULIA DUTHIE:

If anybody watching and listening outlives me, um, could you please make sure I'm scattered on this particular area of horse or common, please? That's where I'd like to rest it shall be.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So. That was wonderful. So we've arrived at your clearing, your sort of druidic space that you always return to. Uh, as a bit of a connection, when were you last there at your serious happy place?

JULIA DUTHIE:

probably a couple of days ago ah, it's that recent.

CHRIS GRIMES:

I love them. Yes, it really is a sort of a default place to be. I love that. And now, um, you've mentioned an oak tree and the bench hewn out of it already, but I'm going to arrive with a tree now in your clearing and this is a bit waiting for kodo-esque because of my hecting background and I'm going to shake your tree now to see which storytelling apples fall out. How do you like these apples? That's a comedy prop. Very nice, thanks.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And this is where you've had five minutes, julia Duthie, to have thought about four things that have shaped you, three things that inspire you, two things that never fail to grab your attention. And borrow from the film Up, that's a bit, oh squirrels, you know what never fail to be your monsters of distraction, your shiny object syndrome. And then the one is a quirky or unusual fact about you. We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us it's not a memory test, so I'll. I've got very good at curating people through this, so over to you to interpret the shaking of the canopy of your tree as you see fit, julia all right.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, I can't not talk about my early years, and you mentioned my that. I'm a bestselling author just like to put that in there and this is my little book, the House on Dogbone Street, but it talks about that upbringing of mine and I suppose it's sold because it's very unusual. I think most people would not expect a childhood like that from me when they meet me. I would say the thing that I took most from my childhood was having to be extremely resourceful and resilient. So I'm, and I'm naturally a happy person. I'm naturally, you know, an optimist. So I was someone who had to pretty much raise themselves in themselves in very difficult circumstances, um, and so I had to learn really fast how to connect with people. There's a link there um how to survive some challenges, some very difficult things, um, how to provide for myself and how to take care of myself. So these things have stuck with me always. So I would say I can't not.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And the story behind the story. Of your own volition, what you are fascinated by is the story behind the story. So the house on Dogbone Street, I'm assuming I know that's the book, but I'm assuming that's the physical address where this was all beginning to take place.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, I made the name up because it was actually the. The nickname of the road was called um, the dog bone, because the way it was shaped. It had two, two roundabouts in the middle, so it had like this dog bone. Look, you know, look. So us kids we used to call it the dog bone. It still exists in the family. My brother still lives there, um, my dad. Dad has long passed and my mum I didn't know at all so I barely knew her.

JULIA DUTHIE:

She died in her mid-40s and it's not a good. It's not a great happy start, chris, but it kind of was. It was the making of the person that I am. So I don't. The book is not depressing, it's actually very uplifting, and I think the bit that people most like is the detail of exactly what you do do when you're, I don't know seven and you've broken your toe, what do you do? Or, if you're, I don't know, got nits, if you've got nits, what do you do when there's no parents? But that resourcefulness, that capability, that ability to kind of connect with people and find the things you need by, I don't know, being helpful, being cheerful, being somebody that people wanted to pay attention to, all good stuff for life.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And how many? You mentioned a brother who still lives there in Dogbone Street, as you call it for its pet name, what I did there. How many siblings do we have?

JULIA DUTHIE:

I have three. I have two older brothers and a younger sister, so we were a little gang.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So in you being resilient, were you also mentoring and being resilient on behalf of the younger one as well.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, we all play our role. My eldest brother, of course, would naturally assume the sort of patriarch, if you like. Yeah, um, but I don't know. He's six years older than me and I don't know if he would say he was definitely, um, the person responsible for things. I think i'm'm naturally responsible and I think I just took that role when we were younger. I think it still continues to this day. You know, I still feel quite responsible for my siblings.

CHRIS GRIMES:

I was really struck by was your innate happy disposition. You described, even though those are there was adversity you were making. You were able to make optimistic and resilient choices in amongst that I think that was the thing that saved me most.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I I really believe it because it's, it's, uh, it's, it's so inherent in me I would get up in the morning, just make the best of it and just go right, what can I do today to to move this stuff forward? And I'm a real hustler. My partner takes the mickey at me and you know she says things like oh, it's proper, oliver twist, like hello, mister, hello, she got, she got your jobs, um, and I would just do odd jobs and things and stuff, you know, just to get get what I needed. Yeah, so, um, that ability to kind of connect with people and have them um want to work with me, help me do something, um to make my life a little bit better, has always stuck with me and continues to this day wonderful and, as you said, it's formative.

CHRIS GRIMES:

It has formed you and it continues to form you and pull you towards your future. That's a lovely first shapeage. Uh, shapeage number. I've got a bell as well. I can go shape it. Number two, please um, it's music.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Um, so when I was going through all of that, the thing that I loved most, the thing that took me away from it the most, was my love of music. Firstly, listening to it I was obsessed. I'm from that era where we recorded the top 40 and played it back. You know I yeah, all of us did it, didn't we? We sort of went, you know, wait for the song and get rid of the adverts, quick stop. So I'm from that era too, and so growing up in the sort of 70s and 80s music was everything to me.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Any music track that springs to mind.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Oh, I don't know. Well, my very first song was howard jones, the one that went do-be-do-be-do-be-be-do-be-do and don't be fooled by what you see. Whatever that one is, that was the first song I ever bought with my own actual money, which I probably got from doing some odd job. So music was huge for me. And then, um, when I was about 14, I got into my first band and I thought I was the coolest person in the world. Um, and uh, funnily enough, started playing bass, rather than what I ended up being, which was a singer.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Um, and I still love the bass, I can still play it quite well, but it was an odd instrument to start with at 14 and it wasn't even mine. Um, I borrowed it. So, um, yeah, I, I just loved music always, always did, and, um, that kind of that led me to having quite the career in music. It was a really fun time, about 10 years of really trying hard. I had, um, you know, I was signed to management, I put out a few songs, I record an album, I did loads of gigs guitar wasn't yours, uh, and presumably you've returned it.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Or have you still got that bass guitar somewhere in the background?

JULIA DUTHIE:

well, it belonged to a? Um, it actually belonged to a music shop it's still going actually called andertons in gilford, and there was a person there who ran the shop, called guy I don't remember his surname, but he allowed me to borrow it because I used to nick off as much as I could from from school and go and hang out in in that music shop and he would just let me play it. He just let me play it and eventually he said well, you might as well just take it home. He played it that much.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Oh, Guy is Guy.

JULIA DUTHIE:

We like guys? Yeah, and he gave me a set of headphones that I could just plug straight into the bass, so I didn't have an amp and I could just play at home. Anyway, that was.

CHRIS GRIMES:

I've not said the expression slap that bass for a while. But that's a particular style of bass playing, isn't it Great? Second shape shape is number three. I'll do the bell again. Ding, ding, all. Second shape is number three. I'll do the bell again. Ding, ding, all right, we don't have to do that, it's just occasionally there. It's for if we go into rabbit holes. Normally I use the bell to get people out of rabbit holes, but we haven't gone on yet okay, good.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, number three is um. I'm going to give a person some credit now. This is I'm going to do a shout out for a lady called jan lawford um, who was my first boss. My first proper job was a company called cpu peripherals in invoking um and the first mention they've had for a while.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Live on linkedin they don't exist anymore. They didn't exist long gone, um. But it was a peripheral distribution company. I knew nothing about computers, chris. I, you know, had no clue.

JULIA DUTHIE:

But again, being the sort of champion hustler, I applied for the job and before I had my interview I pretended to be a dealer and got their brochure because only sold to the trade. So I I rocked up to their um, to their front kind of office, and pretended I was in. I've been sent by my boss who, and I made up some name, could I have their trade brochure please? And then I went and met with my dear friend Chris and said I don't know anything about this stuff. What is it? What is a tape drive? What is a hard drive? I have no idea. So anyway, just learned everything.

JULIA DUTHIE:

And when I came for my interview, jan was there and you know I obviously impressed her with my huge amounts of years worth of computer background. Not, but you know she liked the cut of my jib, to use your phrase. And I hired me and I just never really looked back. I rose through the ranks of that organization, um had a wonderful time about five years under under Jan. She taught me a lot about leadership and how to grow a business and and marketing. I still see her, I still think of her, I think of the way she uh, did two things, does things. She's hugely successful in her own right and, yeah, I'm really proud to still be in her life and be considered a friend. So, yeah, jan Lawford, here's to you.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Love that and also there's a real strand of loyalty in what you're describing you as a person. I'm getting the sense that you're incredibly loyal once you meet someone and they help you.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Oh yes, I'm a collector, Chris.

CHRIS GRIMES:

That's an even better way of putting it. Hello, I'm a collector, hence, people are everything. You're a collector of people, and clusters of five are lovely. And again, we'll get on to you talking explicitly about your podcast in a little while as well. So now it's shapeage number four.

JULIA DUTHIE:

please, this is wonderful stuff well, I'm gonna cheat um, I I'm gonna call this my ists. I sts is my ists and I'm gonna lump two together that have been absolutely life-changing for me, which is my physiotherapist and my um therapist. So mind and body. So I'm going to talk about Dean first. His name's Dean Tooby, and I damaged my back really badly when I was in my early 20s and I had two prolapsed discs L4 and L5 if anyone knows my pain out there Really devastating. It's a devastating thing.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I think I was 23 or 24 and I'm very sporty and they said no more sports for you, don't be thinking about having kids. And I was in excruciating pain. I went on to have two kids against that advice, but I never returned, returned to sports. I never was able to do sports. But I met Dean and I mean, apart from being such a talented physio, I mean he knows so much. He's actually he teaches this stuff as well, but he just took the time to learn me and what he learned with me is I need a lot of information.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I love to know exactly how everything works and why it's not working. But more than that, I need reassurance that if I try something, it's going to be okay, because when you've hurt your back that badly, you hold your body in protective mode the whole time. And now I'm playing pickleball, and now I'm on a kayak and I'm playing pickleball, and now I'm on a kayak and I'm cycling and I'm doing pretty much most of the things I ever wanted to do. My goal is to one day play tennis which is my.

CHRIS GRIMES:

I love tennis. It's got me through the pandemic, twonking a ball 25 feet away at somebody else. Well, you know that it's a wonderful sport. So Dean is amazing Dean to me um check him out if you've got any I just say what a great name for a therapist to be, to be, to be, as in you can either work with me or not. Work with me, to be or not to be.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Love that I knew we'd get the bard in there. Yeah, no, he's brilliant, so he's one of my ists.

CHRIS GRIMES:

That's changed a great is of my life.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Um, and donna is my therapist, who I took up with um when I had a bit of a. My dad died when he was 90 and he had dementia for 10 of those years and had a tricky relationship with him anyway. Um, and then I thought, well, I better go and see an ist because I wasn't doing doing very well with and well done for not just going to get pissed instead of yeah. I did that too, yes.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Yeah, I definitely did that, but I also, at the ripe old age of 50, I decided to give it a try and in doing so, she just altered the shape of my life completely. I mean, I'm a totally different place, different, I'm in a totally different place, I'm totally different relationship and I'm I'm just, you know just where I need to be. And, um, and she did that, she helped me with that great.

CHRIS GRIMES:

That's a wonderful initial shape of the tree, the four shapeages. Now we're looking at three things that inspire you. Uh, julia duffy all right.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, um, curiously not. Uh, people, people are just the best bit, aren't they? So I, I get a lot of inspiration from the people around me, be they, be they friends, um, you know, just people in my life or people that I observe and learn from. So people are my absolute favorite. Then I put down travel, which I really come to quite late in my poor kids. I made them go camping every year for well, they're still doing it and they're 21 and 23 now, but I, literally, from the age of two, I made them go to the same campsite every year for 17 days, not not two or three days, but 17 days. That was my annual holiday. And then, in my with my new partner, catherine, she's like I'm not doing that I'm not doing that.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I love that I'm not doing that. No, no, we don't. We don't do campaign, so, um, so she introduced me to actual travel.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And like hotel rooms, things like that.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Hotel rooms with beds and like room service and fluffy towels and you know who knew. So now we travel a lot. We've just come back from Antigua, we've done New York, we've done LA and I've done a lot of travel with my work. I mean, I've, you know, hundreds and hundreds of work trips, but I never really traveled abroad, abroad for pleasure. So she, she's like that's more like it, that's what we're going to do.

JULIA DUTHIE:

so travel is like a super priority for me uh inspiration please oh right, well, I'm going I'm just going to be very self-serving for both of us here which is podcasts. When I discovered podcasts, that changed my life. I mean, I started having some difficulty with my eyesight about the same time I discovered podcasts and so I used to be a voracious reader and then, as my eyesight was going, this is not enjoyable anymore. And then podcasts came into my life and I must listen to, I'm going to say, 10 plus hours a week, if not more, and I have learned so much from doing that and I love long form conversation. It's my absolute favorite thing to do because I don't know. I just like getting into things and I like listening to people getting into things. I'm not a big fan of sort of short bursts of knowledge or communication. I like to know things. So podcasts absolutely changed my life 100%.

CHRIS GRIMES:

In all my circa 250 episodes, you're the first person that has named podcasts as an influencer, so that's wonderful, congratulations it's true and I believe that's the three influence things that's happened now, isn't it?

CHRIS GRIMES:

is that right? Just yes, checking my own maths, it's my show, but I sometimes get a bit lost. And now this is the oh squirrels you know, borrow from the film up. The house on dog bone street made me think about the film Up anyway, because there's a very enigmatic house within the film Up. Anyway, this is the oh squirrels. You know what never failed to stop you in your tracks. I do have a slightly stupid squirrel. My family hate the fact that I might whip out a squirrel. Anyway, squirrels, what are your two monsters of distraction, your shiny object syndromes, two things that never fail to stop you in your tracks, irrespective of anything else that's going on for you Dogs.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I love dogs. If I see a dog, I want to go up to it, know it. I want to know everything about it. I want to speak to the owner. I'd like to think I know most of the breeds by sight, although most breeds now are just fluffy, aren't they? Everyone's? Got a poodle even me a doodle of some kind. Yes, a doodly doodle. Yeah, mine's called a boar doodle, um, and so it's got it's got tusks.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Is that why it's a boar doodle?

JULIA DUTHIE:

I never thought of that. No right, um, no, she's a border collie, so she thinks she's a sheep, but actually she's just this fluffy little thing. But I love dogs, they're just all love and they are. You know all the different uses and breed types and I love crufts, but I'm obsessed with them. I will always stop and say hello if I see a dog. In fact, I sold one of my homes without going through an estate agent because I knew the dog and said hello.

JULIA DUTHIE:

The dog was called Oscar and I looked up and the owner said hello, how do you know Oscar? And I said well, I see Oscar all the time. And she said ah, that must be with my dog, walker. And I said probably, because I don't know you. And I said to her we've not met. I said to her we've not met, I'm Julia, what's your name? And she told me and I said oh, I've not seen you around here. She said no, I'm, I'm looking for a house to buy, so I'm just walking around the roads to see what areas. And I said well, funnily enough, I'm about to put my house on the market on Monday, and this was the weekend. So I said if you come around today, you could perhaps make me an offer, and she did and I sold it.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So Oscar works in real estate. That's fantastic. What a dog. That is. That's great. Paid him a very good commission. What dogs too. And I know that, uh, dogs are often used by owners to be the conduit to whether or not they trust someone, as to whether the dog likes them or not.

JULIA DUTHIE:

So there's an energy completely and I'm I'm a bit sus of anyone who doesn't like dogs. You know, that's a, that's a big.

CHRIS GRIMES:

When I first went to drama school the bristol little big theater school I was analogized to being like an untrained labrador, as in I'd come in, uh, lick your face, hump your leg, do a poo in the corner and get bored and go and do something else. I wouldn't do any of that stuff, but it's that, that sort of uncontained energy which, uh, you know, still helps as we begin to bottle energy as we get older well, I'd probably be described as some sort of soppy spaniel, um, and with loads of energy and probably a bit needy she's a bit needy nice.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Uh, that's great to name a dog as a squirrel, because obviously dogs and squirrels, that's just a wonderful sort of juxtaposition. It's normally dogs that are just so. Yes, that's lovely that you've named a dog as a squirrel. I think you might have a second squirrel if you want.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I did make a little option too here, and it's a similar sort of thing really, but it's old people. I like elderly people. I just find them absolutely fascinating and I'm always drawn to them. If I see them, I don't know, it warms my heart, especially if you see two really elderly people holding hands.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Last episode of People Are Everything I know. You interviewed your oldest, oldest friend, who's 92. Oh, yes, Well, well remember friend who's 92.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Oh, yes, well, remember that's Brian. Brian, yes, I love Brian.

CHRIS GRIMES:

What I remember really you saying is that you're my oldest friend, in both centres of the word, because you met him when you were seven.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, I met Brian when I was seven, yeah, and I told him I was going to marry him. And when I didn't he was 42 at the time and I was seven when I didn't he was absolutely devastated. I think he's never recovered. No, we've been lifelong friends and he's one of my favourite people. He makes me laugh.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Lovely and now a quirkier, unusual fact about you. We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us to bring us to the closing of the shaking of the tree, please. Well, you kind of already alluded to bring us to the closing of the shaking of the tree, please.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, you kind of already alluded to it with the whole dot com thing. I was this close, chris, to being a I could have what's the opposite. What's the female version of a tech bro?

CHRIS GRIMES:

I'm a texas yes, texas, I could have texas yeah I could be a texas.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Um, yeah, we, we had this. We had this, uh, business called pingpongcom, which was in the us, and I was one of the co-founders, and we were trying to organize the internet. We were trying to find a contextual way of of loading content, um, and or searching content. It's way before google, way before, I think. The only thing at the time was Yahoo and we had this amazing team, hundreds of millions of pounds worth of investment. I was 27, I think, completely riding high in life and living in LA, living the dream, and it could have absolutely blown up and been the best thing ever.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Also I love ping pong. Anyway, well, I love ping pong, but so the name really chimed oh ping pong. So that's a bit yeah script.

JULIA DUTHIE:

That's one of my squirrels, ping pong oh, okay, well, there you go, there's another, another connection, yes, um, but yeah, I could have been a dot-com billionaire.

CHRIS GRIMES:

You could have been a contender, you could have been a billionaire. I love that could have been somebody. You could have been. Yeah, great fact. Thank you very much, um, and now we've shaken your tree, hurrah. So now we stay in the clearing, we move away from the tree and next we're going to talk about alchemy and gold, julia duffy. So when you're at purpose and in flow, what are you absolutely happiest doing in what you're here to reveal to the world?

JULIA DUTHIE:

well, I like being behind a microphone. How, how about that? That's no surprise either, is it? No, no big reveal there. Like, all joking aside, people say to me you know, don't give her the mic, just don't give her the mic because she won't give it back. So no, I love, I love public speaking. I love this kind of thing. I loved when I was a singer, you know, performing live. I love the audience interaction bit.

CHRIS GRIMES:

It's where I feel most alive, most authentic, most relaxed, which seems to be Good and, if I may, I didn't say this and I meant to. The first thing I wrote down about you this morning when I was just checking in on my research, was the silky voiced Julia Duthie. So you are in the right place. You do have a very silky voice.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Oh, thank you. Well, you know you never like the sound of your own speaking voice, do you? But? But I used to be able to hold a tune, chris. I'm not sure I could nowadays, but I used to love singing. My first one was called the innocent bystanders, which, uh, was like a classic 80s soft rock, punk, I don't know. Second band was called the color red. That was a bit more sophisticated um. And then I got signed as an individual artist, called um my, my uh stage name was billy levi how about the answer?

CHRIS GRIMES:

And now I'm going to award you with a cake. So do you like cake? Julia Duthie.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Who doesn't love cake? Again, that's like not liking dogs. Yes, you don't like cake.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Comedy prop number 89, please. This is now the cherry on the cake, so what type of cake would you like All?

JULIA DUTHIE:

right. My absolute favourite would be a Victoria sponge with loads of fresh cream in the middle and strawberry jam.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So you'll have that cake. It shall be yours, complete with fresh cream and everything. So now you get to put a cherry on the cake. It's the final storytelling suffused metaphor. What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, firstly, I need to ask permission. The best piece of advice you've ever been given.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Well, firstly, I need to ask permission. Am I allowed to swear? Yes, because Dan's brilliant at it. Yeah, but you're teeing everyone up. So anyone with delicate sensibilities cover your ears now. Please Cover your ears now and then anyway, I'm quoting.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Yes, so it's not me, but I have a very, very, very dear friend who's also called Julia, and when Julia and um I, when I first had my two kids, I had them quite close together.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Um, they're 16 months apart and I was knackered after the second um, my second child was born, but it didn't stop me going out of life really, really hard and I was trying to be the best mum and I was going to do all the clubs and I was like that mum was so keen, but of course I was absolutely, you know, doing my, doing my health. No good at all, chris grimes and um, she sat me down once and I've written it down, although I could probably just recite it. She said um, julia, now listen to me, you need to take better care of yourself, because if anything happens to you, it'll be a fucking disaster. And you know what? In that moment it really got my attention. I thought gosh, actually she's right, I had to look after myself much better, because I matter to a lot of people and if I'd done myself in for whatever reason, through health issues or whatever, gosh, that would have been a ripple effect and I think that's a little message to everybody really.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And a big shout out to your friend what's her name? Just to give her another name, her name's Julia Bird and she's amazing. She is amazing, and which links beautifully to the question that just left my brain before I tried to ask it, which is what's your favourite inspirational quote? That could have been it, but what's your favourite inspirational quote that's always given you sucker and pulled you towards your future?

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, this quote almost gave me my first tattoo. I was living in India for a good while and everyone seemed to be doing the tattoo thing. So I thought, oh, I want one. So this almost got tattooed along along my spine. Could you imagine how painful that would have been? But it was. It was poignant because my spine had always been my limiter. Yes, back issues I told you about earlier, yeah. So I thought I'm gonna, I'm gonna tattoo it and take control of it anyway, and it's gonna sound very lofty. But it's a carl young quote. See, told you I read a lot of books and it says I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. And that is something I've always thought about too is, yes, I did not have the best of starts by anyone's stretch, but I have not allowed that to negatively alter anything in terms of my, um, my Deliberately reincorporate.

CHRIS GRIMES:

just say that beautiful Carl Jung quote one more time Okay, here it is.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Boom With the gift of hindsight, what notes, help or advice might you proffer to a younger version of yourself? Julia Duthie.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I think I would have told my younger self to be braver and be more authentic earlier. That process I went through with Donna, that I mentioned my therapist before and she kind of enabled me to be very truthful about who I really was. And I had a fabulous relationship with my ex-husband still do, he's still very much in my life, but always knew that I was gay and I just didn't ever want to talk about it or think about it. So I buried it so deeply, like so deeply I didn't even recognise it in myself in some ways. But I kind of always knew at some fundamental level that I energetically resonated much more with women, um, and which now has led me to my, my partner, with Catherine. But it took so long 50 years, chris, 50 um, and, uh, you know, maybe it was always meant to take that long. But I probably would tell my younger self you know, um, just be braver and and trust that people will love you anyway for who you are, um, fundamentally very sage-like advice.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Fantastic. We're ramping up to shakespeare shortly to talk about legacy and how you'd most like to be remembered, but just before we get there, this is the pass the golden baton moment. Please. Now you've experienced this from within. Who would you most like to pass the golden baton along to, to keep the golden thread of the storytelling going? Julia Duthie.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, I thought about this person for multiple reasons. I'm going to introduce you to a guy called Chris West. Chris was my original manager back in the day when I was 16. And he sort of discovered me, as it were, and we had a very long music career together, um, and he's gone on to do all kinds of things. He's um, he's produced albums for Richard Ashcroft, for Status Quo. He's an amazing guitarist, amazing producer and engineer, um, and he's also my best mate. So I've known him a long time. We've stayed very close friends all this time. I think you'd find him really interesting.

CHRIS GRIMES:

That's a wonderful, wonderful, precious golden baton pass. Thank you very much, chris West. I'm coming for you and now, inspired by Shakespeare, it's very exciting to hold this particular book up, because this is the sort of first folio, but it's the actual book. I went to the Bristol Olympic Theatre School circa 16986, and it says that on the front. So this is my well-thumbed, complete works of Shakespeare. Oh easy, so now, inspired by all the world's stage and all the bed of players, and I'd now like to ask you, julia duffy, how, when all is said and done, would you most like to be remembered?

JULIA DUTHIE:

well, I didn't. I really struggle with this.

JULIA DUTHIE:

I don't know I know somebody who's always trying to do things and is sort of a creative person who will try something new. I don't know that. I'm, you know, authentic and pretty wholehearted. I am a loyal friend, I'm a good friend, I'm a good, I'm just a good person, you know. You know, I know it sounds really twee, but I just want to be thought of well, that I've lived a nice life and done some good things and helped people along the way. I just like to be well thought of Chris.

CHRIS GRIMES:

You're man's and woman's best friend. I think you probably were a dog in a different life, actually, because of your monumental presence of now, now, now, and just being interested and inquisitive.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Absolutely.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Come back to the Spaniel and now. So just talk us through where we can find out. All about. People Are Everything for those that are listening, julia.

JULIA DUTHIE:

Well, basically anywhere you get your podcasts, just type in People Are Everything. It's everywhere. It's on Spotify, it's on Apple, itunes, it's on Audible, amazon, youtube, just kind of everywhere. So please do check it out.

CHRIS GRIMES:

And myself will be appearing in a couple of weeks. Oh, yes, yes, the only my guest. I can't wait, as this has been your moment in the sunshine, in the good, listening to show. Uh, julia dutha duffy, best-selling author, podcast host, trusted advisor and mentor. Is there anything else you'd like to say?

JULIA DUTHIE:

I thought about this too. Here's my parting message to you all. It's taken me a long time to come to this but seek out people that you energetically chime with and that make you feel good. There's 8 billion of us to play with. Don't spend time with anyone that doesn't make you feel something I don't know warm or inspired, or energetically happy or just content All the good feels that we're all looking for. Just seek those people out and if you find them, hold on to them, because they're little treasures. That's my parting words.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Ladies and gentlemen, you've been listening to the gorgeous, lovely Julia Duthie here on the Good Listening To Show. Another QR code for you if you'd like a conversation about being in the show too. The website for the show is thegoodlisteningtoshowcom. The Good Listening To Show is also available wherever you get your podcasts. And then, very, very excitingly, there's a very new series strand, which has been in the mountainscape of the Good Listening To show all along, which is called Legacy Life Reflections, which uses the same curated structure of the show to record the story, lest we forget before it's too late, of somebody near, dear or close to you for posterity, as we share their life's lessons learned along their way. So check out Legacy Life Reflections as well. And, of course, you know, if you want to talk about amplifying your business, your brand, that sort of thing, there's a series down for that too, which is called Brand Strand Founder Stories. So, yes, it's been a great joy and a delight. Is there anything else else else you'd like to say, julia?

JULIA DUTHIE:

Just thank you, Chris. I've loved this. I'm so excited about this today because I love this. I love this. I love your energy. I love the theatrics of it all. You just make me smile and I think that's a really good thing. I think it's great what you're doing. Keep doing more of it. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for inviting me on today. I've really, really enjoyed it.

CHRIS GRIMES:

It's been a delight and a pleasure, sincerely, and I'm very, very much looking forward to the magical bit of reciprocity too. I did also forget to mention I've got a live theatre version show of this as well, and Rob Brydon is coming to the Bristol Redgrave Theatre on the 5th of July to come and do a show live in person that will be filmed, streamed in front of a live audience of about 320 people. So that's Saturday, the 5th of July. And also there is a Best of Bristol, bristol Voices series strand, and on Thursday 8th of May, if you're in the Bristol area, I'm going to be doing a show at Lost and Grounded Brewery, which is to find the story behind the story of being Alex Troncoso, who is the founder of Lost and Grounded in the brew house of his dreams, which that's the title, right there.

CHRIS GRIMES:

So yes, I've been Chris Grimes, but most importantly, ladies and gentlemen, this has been Julia Duthie. I think we're about to go offline. So thank you very much indeed. And just in case, is there anything else? Just to ring the sponge out, I'm just asking you again, just in case there's oh, I forgot to mention. Is there anything you'd like to say?

JULIA DUTHIE:

no, I'm just, I'm really excited for you meeting rob bride and he's one of my favorites, so, um, um, yeah, good luck with that and I I hope it goes really really well wonderful.

CHRIS GRIMES:

Thank you very much indeed for watching, listening. Uh, thank you very much indeed. Good night. You've been listening to the good listening to show with me, chris grimes. If you'd like to be in the show too, or indeed gift an episode to capture the story of someone else with me as your host, then you can find out how care of the series strands at the good listening to showcom website. If you'd like to connect with me on LinkedIn, please do so, and if you'd like to have some coaching with me care of my personal impact game changer program then you can contact me and also about the show at chris at second curve dot uk on x and instagram. It's at that, chris grimes. Tune in next week for more stories from the clearing and don't forget to subscribe and review wherever you get your podcasts.