The Good Listening To Show: Stories of Distinction & Genius

'The Emperor of Introductions', Richard Selwyn-Barnett: Founder of 'ItsWhoYouKnow.com' on the Art of Being a Master Networker & Connector and on Building a Lasting Legacy through the Power of Introductions amongst the Good & the Great in Funky Shirts!

• Chris Grimes - Facilitator. Coach. Motivational Comedian

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Richard Selwyn Barnett, known affectionately as the Emperor of Introductions, takes us on an engaging journey through his fascinating life as a master connector. Imagine moving to a new house and serendipitously meeting musical icons like Jerry and the Pacemakers—Richard's life is filled with such delightful stories. With a passion for storytelling and film collecting, Richard's experiences paint a vivid picture of networking in its most personal and human form. His childhood friend, Daniel Elias, even coined the nickname "Mr. One Degree" for him, highlighting his knack for bringing people together.

As we explore Richard's networking escapades from the mid-80s in London, he shares captivating tales of building connections in some of the city's most exclusive areas. From in-person meetings at local pubs to today's digital platforms, Richard recounts how networking has evolved over the years. He offers insights into the power of introductions, the value of preemptive action, and the importance of forging strong connections. Whether meeting visionaries or forming unique networking clubs, Richard's experiences emphasize the necessity of staying ahead and creating one's own rules in both life and business.

The conversation doesn't stop at networking; it delves into personal inspirations, happiness, and legacy. Richard reflects on the influence of role models and how they shaped his life and career. He shares personal anecdotes, from skiing dangerous black runs to memorable motorcycle journeys across Europe. Our discussion concludes with reflections on legacy and personal values, as Richard aims to be remembered as a compassionate individual who helps others and stands up to adversity. Listeners are invited to connect with Richard on LinkedIn to continue following his journey and perhaps uncover that quirky fact he left intriguingly under wraps.

Tune in next week for more stories of 'Distinction & Genius' from The Good Listening To Show 'Clearing'. If you would like to be my Guest too then you can find out HOW via the different 'series strands' at 'The Good Listening To Show' website.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW wherever you get your Podcasts :)

Thanks for listening!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to another episode of the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, the storytelling show that features the Clearing, where all good questions come to get asked and all good stories come to be told, and where all my guests have two things in common they're all creative individuals and all with an interesting story to tell. There are some lovely storytelling metaphors A clearing, a tree, a juicy storytelling exercise called five, four, three, two, one, some alchemy, some gold, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare and a cake. So it's all to play for. So, yes, welcome to the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin and begin. We shall furball with a slight frog in my throat as well. It's all going well in terms of the gremlins of the interweb.

Speaker 1:

But welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a very exciting, halcyon and happy day here in the Good Listening To show clearing, because I'm absolutely delighted to welcome Richard Selwyn Barnett, otherwise known as the Emperor of Introductions. He's the founder of itswhoyouknowcom, pronounced I-W-I-C, and I was introduced to the wonderful Richard Selwyn Barnett by the equally gorgeous king of networking, mark Warnsley, who runs the arts and culture network, and ever since I've been introduced to you and I know your USP, richard, which we can talk about in a moment, is you've been making just to blow some happy smoke at you unique, iconic, inspirational and influential introductions since october 1985. It's only taken you 40 years to find this clearing and ever since I met you a couple of weeks ago, you've been unleashing and I thank you sincerely for it a veritable tsunami of wonderful introductions. So, yes, you are the dot connector, the emperor of introductions. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Good Listening To Show, richard Selwyn Barnett.

Speaker 2:

Hey, lovely introduction, Chris. Good morning to you and everyone else listening. Sorry about the slightly slow start, but we're here.

Speaker 1:

Lovely, and I got in touch with you just before 10, just to check you weren't doing a Father Ted, because you were about to go downstairs or upstairs with a cup of coffee and I didn't want you to do a Father Ted and fall up or down the stairs. I'm glad you didn't do that. Well, we're at the room at the moment. Yes, and this is a very enigmatic cinema room. Just talk us through where you've decided to position yourself today in your wonderful house, the house was built in 1790, won't bore you.

Speaker 2:

It's grade two listed, with 55 stairs. It's on five stories. There are nine split levels I talk quite quickly, a bit like Tarantino, so I can slow down Went through a total refurb and the first week I'm here, chris, which is obviously April 2015,. I walk to the end of the street, princess Street, and I encounter one of the oldest theatres in the country called the Theatre Royal. Anyway, I go in the country called the theater royal. Anyway, I go in, uh, and I asked the guy in the foyer what's on tonight? I was thinking about some comedy or something.

Speaker 2:

Just, I had a week of sort of, you know, settling into my new house, um, and he said we've got jerry and the pacemakers on. I went oh, okay, well, why don't you, why don't you go backstage? Tell jerry richards in the foyer, right, and he'll know who I am. He asked my surname and I gave him. Anyway, he comes out, he says yes, jerry will see you now, right, and he says what are you doing here, kid? What I said? Well, you know, you've come a long way down from, from um birkenhead, where he lived in the place called neston at the time. He's passed away a couple of years back, lovely man.

Speaker 2:

Um, I knew him and yeah, he said, come backstage and you go. He said, but I want you to buy a ticket. So I said, of course I'll buy a ticket, no problem. He put me up in the circles on my own I was in the empty circle, the stalls were full. You know, as in Lennon would have said, the cheap suits right, and I, you know listening. That was my first week in Margate. Really, ever since then I have built the cinema room up. As you can see, or maybe not see, I don't know if they can have a look around it there's a bit more sort of over there.

Speaker 1:

We're doing a cyclorama. This is great.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so we've got thousands of I've collected over the years a big collector of things thousands of films on DVD, vhs, blu-ray.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the comedian in me has to ask, by the way, with Jerry and the Pacemakers, the sad demise of him a couple of years ago. Was it his pacemaker that gave out? See what I did there.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, I never rang his wife Pauline, I just felt that I would. I knew him. I met him twice in my life, around his house, obviously, and had tea and you know, cakes and things like that. His wife Pauline was the best friend of Cilla Black growing up. Uh, she was the first girl to kiss George Harrison, although there was a coat girl at the cavern who I met. Uh, in the Beatles stories documentary which Seth Swirsky made. Seth Swirsky, la, fantastic songwriter, wrote Taylor Daines, tell it To my Heart in 88, knows everyone I know. And he invited me to the premiere and he said well, this girl I sat next to at the premiere, she said she was the first kiss of George Harrison. Anyway, forget it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, so you had a kiss off a competition. No, it was me, no, it was her.

Speaker 2:

Then on the other side with John Lennon. You know, quite interesting character. But yeah, it was a premiere of a film called Beetle Stories. It's over there actually. I can probably, when we get to the end of this, probably pull it out and show you it.

Speaker 1:

I've got a strong suspicion I'm going to get a couple of episodes out of you, because we're on the open road already of a pinball machine, of it's all about you know, it's who you knowcom iWik, which already explained. So just to let me position this show for you and for me and for the audience watching. This is the show the good listening to show, the show in which I invite movers, makers, shakers, mavericks, influencers and also personal heroes into a clearing or serious happy place of my guests, choosing as they all share with us their story of distinction and genius. And you do have, you know, just listen to how you qualify for all of those. You know ways of qualifying to be in the show fantastic, and it's the show that sets out this to find out the story behind the story of being entity x, and so I'm really intrigued to get you on the open road of finding um out.

Speaker 1:

All about you, richard. So, going just back to basics, if somebody doesn't have a frame of reference for you being your super connector self, if someone says, hello, you look interesting and you've got an interesting shirt, I know you've got a society around the fact you like to wear wonderful shirts. What, what's your way of avoiding or answering the question. What do you do?

Speaker 2:

richard selwyn barnett well, the first answer is a one-word answer called introductions, but it's a lot more complex than that and what it involves is introducing people that we'd never normally have met, who I know, or if I don't know them personally. The rule is always one degree and nothing above one degree of separation and bringing them together for a positive outcome. That's the simplistic explanation of introductions. But it revolved around lunch clubs, breakfast clubs, dinner clubs, and it was mainly started out in North London in the mid-80s, as you rightly say, at a pub called the Orange Tree, which a few people being Totteridge N20, north London, will know. Totteridge is the Beverly Hills of North London. It's got the most exclusive homes, people in Hampstead and didn't probably argue against that. But of course I had also my networks working in those areas. I went up to up to regents park, notting hill, mayfair, knights bridge, kensington, and I was always never going to go south of the river, allegedly.

Speaker 2:

Right back in the 80s I did eventually um, so I built up these um. One candle, the wick of a candle is lit lights, another wick of another candle. It had the wick and then in those days we didn't have mobiles. We had no computers, no social media. We had to go out and physically meet people, talk to them on the landline. Yep, and I worked in an estate agent's office of all places in woodside park where I grew up uh, for a very nice chat, and after hours I was on the key and lamp system I don't remember that where you could ring someone's landline, then you could put them on hold and then you could put key number two down, ring another person's landline, put one hold and then you could merge the calls.

Speaker 2:

So that was the initial introduction in 85 and it was an interesting one because it was a nothing to do with with entertainment whatsoever. It was two property guys I knew, both school friends. They would never have known each other, they would never have socialized with each other, they certainly would never have probably ever done business with each other had I not have done the pub introduction, which was my biggest hit of all time. It turned out that one of them super wealthy. He bought this plot of land and got to buy a commission and then a year later I'm buying my first apartment. I'm 19, it's 86. A year after that, in October again, or just at the end of September, I'm flying to Hollywood. So things move quickly and I realized that there's a power like no other power out there to actual really good introductions.

Speaker 1:

And I've experienced that firsthand just in the last two weeks. I'm very aware that you have a sort of centrifugal force of just emanating connections and, as you say, it's not just five degrees of separation, you're talking about one degree of separation, which is a very intriguing proposition.

Speaker 2:

It came about in the very early 90s. I was on the phone to a friend of mine in New York called Daniel Elias. Some people, by the way, I will refer to their full names, their public, that they're okay. Others it's more confidential. You've got their first name or their initial, but that's how I'm going to do this interview with you. So I ring up Daniel Eliasias, I say hey, when are you coming back to to to london? I said I'm busy in new york.

Speaker 2:

He said I'm on the set of a film I'm working with um, uh, ian mckellen, wasn't sir? Then stockard channing, riso from greece, will smith, only known for the fresh prince of bel-air, not that famous then. Um and I think Sidney Poitier was involved in it Called Six Degrees of Separation Going back 30 years. So he said to me you know, he said and then I've got my own, I'm developing, I've got a really good idea for this Bounty Hunter television reality TV series. Actually it did become later on in the years, in the 90s I think it was Dog, the Bounty Hunter world famous, franchised, all over the place, big brand, and that was Daniel Elias and he was my childhood friend from September, october, 73. So he then said to me.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, I'm going to give you the name, mr One Degree. I never heard it before, before 92, 93. And I thought okay. And I then thought about it and I thought, yeah, I've met a guy who's mr one percent, as in, you know, one of the most wealthiest guys in the city. The stock market was a friend of mine. He sold his house to the actor sean bean years later. Um, I mean, I've met a lot of influential people by then, you know, by the early 90s, I was really well established and connected up. But coming from Daniel Elias, it was a beautiful, beautiful compliment.

Speaker 1:

So the genesis point of the 1% that's emanated ever since was back in the day.

Speaker 2:

I'd met someone whose nickname was Mr 1% in the city Ah yes, yes who owned lots of 1%s of big corporations and companies. Yes, I'm with you, and retired very young and he was one of my cheerleaders or fan club, whatever you want to call it. He would come to a lot of my lunches. He lived in North London, in Totteridge, by the way, as well.

Speaker 1:

So let's get you on the open road of the structure, because already you're giving me gold by the bucket load in terms of storytelling, which is what this is about, because it is a very much a storytelling construct. But what I'm going to do is curate you through the journey, which is we're going to talk about clearing in a minute which is a serious happy place of your choosing. Then there's going to be a lovely juicy storytelling exercise called five, four, three, two, one. There's going to be some alchemy, some gold, a couple of couple of random squirrels, squirrels, a golden baton, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare and a cake. So it's all to play for. So we'll just keep storytelling and it'll keep on giving, as you already are, as we go through this. So let's just get you going. So, richard Selwyn Barnett, where is what is a clearing for you? Where is your serious happy place? Where do you go to get cut-free, inspirational and able to think?

Speaker 2:

Well, there's a variety of places. I'd start in the cinema, going to see a film middle of the afternoon when the Joe Public are at work. I would also be going to an art gallery or art galleries, walking down on the beach there's lots of like sandy beaches down here. But before then, the clearing, you know, is um it's. It's about meditation, switching off, not thinking about anything, not not answering your phones, you know um.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, this room we're in now is part of the clearing, I guess which is sort of a man den cinema den, if you like, which is where you are now, and the geography, again, it's margate, isn't it? That's right, isn't it?

Speaker 2:

yeah, southeast coast of kent, um, not far from broadstairs and ramsgate, and then go down to dover and folkestone, of course, to go across to france or calais the fruit basket of england.

Speaker 1:

You're sitting in within your own cinema, man den, which is great. So I know you gave me lots of different um suggestions there, but which one should we fix? On the cinema room you're sat in as being your serious happy place we can start.

Speaker 1:

Yes, of course, let's keep it simple so now what I need to do is arrive a bit waiting for god, oh esk. A bit deliberately theatrical because of my hectic background, I'm going to arrive with a tree in your clearing and I'm going to shake your tree to see which storytelling apples fall out. How'd you like these apples? And then this is where you've been kind enough to have thought about four things that have shaped you. You've got matching apples. That was lovely. Anyway, you can't eat this one because it's a red pink lady apple.

Speaker 2:

It should be more pink. It's red, sorry. Yeah, five 4, 3, 2, 1.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, hang on a minute. I'll just explain four things that have shaped you, three things that inspire you, two things that never failed to grab your attention oh, squirrels Borrowed from the film Up. And then the one is a quirky or unusual fact about you. Super connector, emperor of connection, richard Selwyn connection, richard selwyn barnett. We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us it's not a memory test. So now I'm going to just back up, back up a step, and now curate you through shaking the canopy of your tree as you see fit.

Speaker 2:

So, um, first of all, four things that have shaped you, richard okay, um, well, obviously, not being that academic at school, I had other interests, let's say One being the people I met growing up, of course, in the area I grew up in Woodside Park, or Lower Totteridge as they used to call it. One of the guys was Daniel Elias. We just mentioned him before. He's in New York. He's a famous reality TV director, producer, so he was a great influence on me. He helped me. He was highly intelligent, very well connected even back then, and we just got on like a house on fire from when we were like six years old. So Daniel would be one guy who sort of shaped a little bit of me. However, I was always brought up to be extremely independent. You know you weren't going to be spoiled to get anything really.

Speaker 1:

You had to do everything for yourself, do your own thing, kind of thing. I was going to ask you so to interrupt you about richard selwyn barnett. That does have a sort of aristocratic sort of handle to it, because well, my mother was the only girl in the selwyn family.

Speaker 2:

It's a big family so she wants to keep the name um, and it's quite clumsy because it's that's flow, a but it is. People spell it wrong and stuff and get it wrong. Then Barnett my father, brian Barnett, obviously, married Angela Selwyn and I was born a long, long time ago, in 1967.

Speaker 1:

I'm ahead of you. I'm 1962.

Speaker 2:

So both looking good, tiger. Yeah, I think the 60s were a great era. We were obviously children or babies. Uh, the seventies, especially, shaped me a lot. I mean the music, the films, the television, uh, the outdoor activities. I was looking, you know, back at some old photos and said, god, I was, like, you know, super fit, super thin, obviously. Um, so that's that. And you get shaped by also, mentors shape you, people that you look up to, or heroes or idols or role. Could we call them role models, shall we? Yeah, and there were many, many, many, many.

Speaker 2:

I can tell you loads of stories, but again it's probably for another show. But there was one guy that lived down the road who ended up being one of the top lawyers in this country. He started Old Swang, one of the biggest entertainment lawyers in the world, probably. And when I was slipping around in the snow on my way to school one day before, you know, like when I used to do public transport, of course, yeah, he gave me his brand new bmw and he was a nice, nice, actually very nice guy I never really spoke to before and we just kept in contact. His cousin was the drummer, one of the founders, of the Tom Robinson bands in the 70s. So he was a nice guy. He was useful. There was another accountant down the road who was the celebrity accountant for Chris Biggins. He'd been out in Hollywood in the 50s when he was a young man.

Speaker 1:

Chris Biggins, by the way, has also guested in this show historically.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I've seen that I haven't listened to it yet. Yeah, I've seen that Never met him. I mean, there's loads of people, Chris, obviously that I haven't met, but I know the people, who I'm still the one degree from everyone, really, and if I look around the cinema room I looked at every single DVD and every VHS and every kind of director. What is my connection to all of these actors, directors and producers and writers?

Speaker 2:

and there was always something yes I really, really held that special uh to my heart. You know it's like, oh my god, do I really know the? You know the musical director of this film? But yes, I do know them actually.

Speaker 1:

Yeah and because I work a lot in comedy, improvisation, with an attitude of yes and where if you say yes more in life, then occasionally, well often, if you say yes, more windows or doors on lubricated hinges can, can open up a lot more. It seems to me, in terms of resonance with how you've approached your life, is that you've just had your receptors super, I suppose elevated about making connections. So would you say that's the sort of secret source or the currency of what you bring well, I mean, the thing is they, you, you know, you don't know how to answer it.

Speaker 2:

My dream, of course, was to be in the guinness book of records, but I couldn't run that fast. I certainly wasn't the tallest guy in the world, but, yeah, no I. I was shaped by um, or inspired and shaped both at the same time by other people around me and in researching you, I know that julian richer was a major inspiration for your first job, of course, was three grand a year.

Speaker 2:

Back in 84, jan 84, I started working in the city. I had three months, you know, for my, my 17th birthday. I was 16 and a half or something, um, and I ended up working, uh, on the fifth floor, adelaide house, overlooking the river thames. And then london Bridge and Bank were over there. Sorry, bank was where, I can't remember, but London Bridge and South London were over the river. So I broke my rule. I crossed over London Bridge every lunchtime, hung out to Richard Sounds, listened to Julian Richard stories the young Julian Richard at the time and the young Richard Selwyn Barnett.

Speaker 1:

We've got a franchise in. Britain, so I'm totally aware of who Gillian Richard is actually.

Speaker 2:

yes, he's one of the greatest entrepreneurs in Britain. I would put him above and beyond Richard Branson, not financially, so a saying that I developed and it's still. Everybody I meet gets the same treatment. They get two questions what's your most important commodity, which obviously is your time, the time we're spending now, the time we spend spending now the time we spend with our family and our friends, and you know, on our work, working sort of projects and lives. And the second question was, I always said, how do you define success? How do you measure success? So I think julian richard is the only guy I know in retail in the guinness book of records. He did tell me I'm going to be in the guinness book of records one day.

Speaker 2:

I went more or less not dismissively, but I thought I can't, I understand why. But then he would see what. He would argue that you know, you buy a television at john lewis. John lewis allegedly never knowingly undersold, right, not true? Um five years on televisions at john lewis. Well, julian would do a six-year warranty, which he did. So yes, julian Richard is a major inspiration and I met people around like Dave Robinson and I met a guy, james Johnson Flynn's, a Cambridge Audio guy.

Speaker 2:

He lived in Monaco, but, yeah, that's one of the role models, yeah, and I think, an early mentor of mine. And here's what this is. Just finish the story, richard. Do what you love doing like you know. Turn a hobby into a business, immerse yourself in it fully, go above and beyond everybody else in that industry and, as you've done all your research, you see the good, the bad and the ugly. You know you've got to be better than the best. Yeah, um, and this thing came naturally to me and I was thinking well, I may not win the running race and get gold or silver or bronze, but I can.

Speaker 1:

I can outmove anyone, I can circumvent most people and I remember, in researching you also, that the other story about julian richard was saying that we don't need to reinvent the wheel, you just need to redesign it and do something that's going to just set your heart what she was doing, you know to reinvent the wheel.

Speaker 2:

You just need to redesign it and do something that's going to just set your what she was doing. You know, to reinvent the wheel it's like lifting rocks up a hill yeah it's expensive and exact, but if you just look at what's out there and say I can do it, you know one degree better yes, one degree better than sisyphus and we're onto something you have the other thing is is with social media now we can get ourselves and our products and our services out there quite quick, like you're doing today, and then you can build a little fan club, a little audience around it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so we're still in the canopy of the tree. We're talking about shaping. So anything else you want to say about specific elements of shapeage for you.

Speaker 2:

Other than people that shape me or events that shape me. No.

Speaker 1:

I mean round about once a decade, something pretty seismic tends to happen to us. That shapes us. So your being a super connector has definitely shaped you and you're being Mr One Degree.

Speaker 2:

I wasn't going to bear fools easily. I was always going to stand up for myself and what I believed in, and I have done ever since. I've been a bit outspoken at times. I don't really regret it, but I can be. But yeah, I had a saying about the neighborhood bully, for example. Um, and I always told people this, saying they actually they were quite like that, like the story behind it, but it was basically we had a neighborhood bully like every every suburb had one um who would scare everybody. He was actually a very scary character, um, and I said to everybody look, don't wait around for the neighborhood bully to get you or beat you up. Yeah, preemptively strike the neighborhood bully when he's not expecting it. Then go and give friendly warnings to neighborhood bullies friends and family and associates yeah, but what he got is coming to them. Now I translated that into business and, uh, right or wrongly, I've done handshake deals for 39 years now. I've been ripped off three times in 39 years, which I think is quite good.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a great record. Yeah, I mean yeah because obviously in retail they get shoplifters, they get breakages or they get stock that never sells right? I was always wanting to um, be ahead of the curve, ahead of the game, a visionary, and I wanted to introduce visionaries to icons. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:

it does. Yeah, yeah, and I love the inversion of the school bully and turning it into a sort of business proposition and also, because it's london, it makes you think of you taking on the great twins. Getins, get in there first. I wasn't that stupid.

Speaker 2:

No, I mean, I came across Chris in life. You come across colourful characters and people and you can keep them at arm's length. Yeah, you can walk away, you can distance yourself from them. I mean, I had people wanting to come to the lunch club and the jealousy it created between them and the envy was like, you know, it's like seven deadly sins here, right? So I invented something called the 11th commandment, yeah, and it was. It was.

Speaker 2:

It was based on a trip up north to buy porsche in in 87, and a friend of mine came with me, who I, who I will not name, uh, everyone knows him. He's passed away in australia about, uh, four years ago, four and a half years ago. He had a mouth and throat cancer, but he was a real character and he came with me on the train journey and he said look, I'm your bodyguard, right, you've got a lot of money on you. It's all cash. You're buying this Porsche. You know something? We're going to Preston. We don't know the area, we don't know and I said, well, okay, how are up? And in the bag was quite a few um, should we say um tools? Yes.

Speaker 2:

So I then said to him I said, for god's sake, his name, because with p p, I said that's against the law, right? And he looked at me and he paused and he just looked at me. It was like sort of scoffing. He said, said I'm my own fucking law. Now that was the 11th commandment to me, right, okay, I get it. The rules, the rule book, the playbooks, all these things are designed to keep you where they said the sky is the limit. They don't want you to go above that limit. They want you to get. Maybe you can't go, but there are people out there who are not just stars, they're superstars.

Speaker 1:

And above the superstar is the megastar right. And then the question what goes beyond? Mega, mega, mega I just keep repeating the word mega.

Speaker 2:

So in my head I had to translate all those things I'd heard and people I'd met and decide where I was going to go. And it was down the introduction path and initially it was to do with sort of you know, wealthy people who could meet other wealthy people, but then it didn't last long. With that it became good people, meeting good people, yes, and with positive outcomes, as I said originally. And there were sometimes negative outcomes and sometimes things fizzled out, never worked, until I met Bill Morrow. And there were sometimes negative outcomes and sometimes things fizzled out and never worked, until I met Bill Morrow.

Speaker 2:

That was, oh God, 2007, at a cocktail party in Montague Street off Russell Square, who was the guy who inspired the Funk Shirt Lunch Club with Tao Hendricks and Adrian Silas and Tony Klinger. Bill had this mad Hawaiian shirt on and I went there with Nick East, my friend I'm not going to mention Nick East, who ran Supreme Records in the 80s. He signed Princess and then Mel and Kim and had lots of hits, three Degrees even. They did a thing called the Heaven I Need Look it up 1985, I think it was and Nick said to Bill Morrow hey, bill, you come and meet Richard and Richard go and meet Bill.

Speaker 1:

So Nick actually had one introduction in his life and that was to bill morrow angels then the world's greatest business angel investment network so, ever since this whole one degree of separation has just been, it's your, your, your super imperative, your purpose, which we're coming on to without you know you've got superhero.

Speaker 2:

It's a superpower, um, it's a magic, it's, it's mystical. And I'll tell you something else it it can be quite spiritually, um satisfying it. You, you sort of smile inside yourself, think you know, I did that introduction and these things happened or I lit the touch paper, stood back, let the firework fly and then it sort of you sparkled, or it could just fizzle out and the wick of the candle yes, coming full circle back to the candle.

Speaker 2:

The eye wick came where I believed. When I did my business card for the Funkyshot Lunch Club, I designed it with Tao Hendricks, obviously daughter of the guitarist, mr Jimmy. Well, it would be, yeah, I definitely have never met the guitarist, mr Jimmy. Well, it would be, yeah, yeah. So I was just thinking I definitely have never met because when I was three he passed away.

Speaker 2:

So she said look, you know this funky shirt thing. What about for girls? I said well, you know, you're the only female in the gang. What do you want to do? You want to design it? Give you free. So she fruit. So she designed this. You know, woman on the moon holding a flag, and it was a funky shirt flag. It was on the moon being that.

Speaker 2:

And then the back of the business card was um, the sky is not the limit. I don't know if I've got one here, but anyway. And then I said to, well, we're not going to do a website for it. It's invite, strictly invitation only. Um, we're certainly going to put our mobile numbers on and our names, but we're not going to have emails, right, I don't want emails, texts, websites, I don't know. I want old school, I want eye-to-eye contact. You know, face-to-face meetings, um, you know, small, intimate lunches, which is how, how I might be developing this since the mid-80s anyway.

Speaker 2:

So I filtered it down to a very, you know, very, very select few, if you like, of inner circle meeting other inner circle people, and that creates so much envy and jealousy. Chris, he would not believe it because they would. I had a lawyer at the time. He said to me am I coming to this lunch? I would say no, you're not invited. Oh well, you know why I said well, because you know you're not invited. Oh well, you know why I said well, because you know you're not needed there. There's no need for it. Yes, and he got angry and he got, but that was him, yeah, not me. And I just said to everybody look, we're going to gradually, you know, build the Function at Lunch Club into an events-based lunch club where you can come for tea at the Grove my other happy place, my clearing, is the Grove Hotel, set in 300 acres in Watford, where I lived for about 15 years before I moved down to Margate. It's gorgeous, chris, and we're going to meet there, hopefully in the new year.

Speaker 1:

Well, I can't help remembering you've invited me to the one in January, so hurrah and funky shirts at the very, you're coming.

Speaker 2:

You're coming, but have you looked at a funky shirt?

Speaker 1:

I'll get a funky shirt. I'll I'll get a funky shirt. I'm quite proud of my finisterre jacket I'm wearing, which is not that funky, but it's quite funky anyway. Uh, we're now, I think in the structure of the show, onto three things that inspire you. If there's any overlap, don't worry, but now it's that's four things that have shaped you. We've covered that, three things that inspire you. Anything else you'd like to say about that?

Speaker 2:

three things inspire me. Well, I think animals and the environment. So the amazing um survival of some of some of the species that we we we look at. I love going out um for nature trails with my daughter now. She's 24 now, but back in the dog walking days and climbing trees and stuff, we used to go out to these incredible nature trails. Yeah, just the two one daughter?

Speaker 1:

you have just getting your story behind, the story of your family situation. One daughter, or would you have other children?

Speaker 2:

I've got one daughter and I get on very well with her mother, who's my ex. No problem at all with good friends. Um, and my parents are still alive, still around there. They're elderly, retired, but they they're still around. Um, I go and see them every couple of weeks, three weeks now. Um, as and when I'm needed.

Speaker 1:

And where's the mothership? What's the location of your parents? Where are they based?

Speaker 2:

They're based in Hertfordshire, just north of London. They're happy, they've got lots of nice neighbours and they get lots of little. Dad still plays golf. He's a retired orthodontist. So I was never going to get a family business. I was never going to go into the medical profession. Right, dentistry doctors couldn't not for me Sure, but super connected was. Yeah, just didn't fancy it anyway. But his disciplines, a lot of his discipline is in me, my mother's friendliness. Of course they're still married, which is quite rare nowadays.

Speaker 1:

Have you still got your my wife? No, sorry, I'm still married, which is quite rare nowadays. Um, have you still got your my wife? No, sorry, I'm still married. 30, yes, so I'm just going off on a rabbit hole there. Uh, sorry, I was misconstrued. The question bit of comedy, the internet, someone's come with a big gizmo to empty a portalo outside, so there's going to be something, something untoward being sucked. That'll be that. But anyway, yes, my, my dad very sadly died three months ago. He was 87 and in fact I've got a series strand that I've crafted using this structure, which is about legacy, life reflections, which I'll do an outro about at the very end. But anyway, um, you know, I'll very probably dedicate this episode to the, to the memory of my father. But anyway, um, let's get back to you. Sorry, I got the slight distraction of the comedy of my father, but anyway, let's get back to you. Sorry, I got the slight distraction of the comedy of a pink port-a-loo that's being emptied.

Speaker 2:

So Trump and quite a big family yeah, certainly, on the Selwyn side, super successful, including one billionaire who didn't spread the wealth, unfortunately, right. There's a reason for that A guy in the film industry who's at the very top of the game, but I might pass the golden baton to him. You never know.

Speaker 1:

At the end of this, I've got about 20 people to pass the baton on to um and, as I said at the beginning, I've never experienced the sort of tsunami of introductions that happened just based on the trust of when we first met. Because of mark warms his introduction, yeah, and your vibe attracts your tribe, and all that sheblang, but I've never Mark's got his own arts and culture network, which you're part of and we're all part of it.

Speaker 2:

He intends to, you know, grow that it's for the masses, obviously, whereas my thing is the opposite. I'm into the one-on-one intros, right, more intimate the more you know people, people know this is so busy, right, can't really see the wood for the trees, most of them, um, I'm sorry to be a harsh critic.

Speaker 1:

I can be your best friend and your harshest critic all in one we now could be on to, uh, the squirrels inspired by the film up where the dog goes. Oh squirrels. You know what are your monsters of distraction? What never fails to grab you in your tracks, oh squirrels. So what are Richard Selwyn Barnett's squirrels of distraction?

Speaker 2:

Oh, crikey, there's quite a few of them actually. Oh, I love, I do. I do like going on a road trip, and then when I'm on that road trip, let's just say, or a journey I get distracted. When I see a very nice restaurant or a pub, I pull in, you know.

Speaker 1:

That's a great distraction.

Speaker 2:

Other distractions could be. You know, I'm at a film festival, I meet someone who I've never met before and I think, oh, I'm, quite you know, interested in having a chat to that person. What having a chat to that person? What other distractions could there be?

Speaker 1:

And there's a currency of confidence in everything you're describing, whereby you'll just open a door and just say can I speak to you, there's nothing holding you back in your super connecting capacity. Yeah, I mean, I do, sorry no that's something I noticed the idea that you just opened doors and that I suppose the currency of confidence to just network and open the conversations is something that's stood you in very good stead oh, definitely.

Speaker 2:

I mean, it's created a lot of databases, it's what they're called nowadays. Yeah, they're valuable. I haven't done anything with them, I've never exploited them, I've never named names on them. They just I mean LinkedIn, obviously, is a great way of connecting to me, and now, more so, I'm doing the Instagram. I'm loving that.

Speaker 1:

And towards the end, there's going to be the show as your QR code moment, where I'll absolutely encourage people to connect with you on LinkedIn. We're going to do that. Do you want another squirrel, or are we done with squirrels? Let's have another squirrel.

Speaker 2:

So what's your other squirrel of distraction, please? Oh, who have we done this?

Speaker 1:

Distraction. You've got a pub that's fine and a good restaurant. That's a great squirrel. And then you asked for another squirrel. We can move on from squirrels, but you asked for another one.

Speaker 2:

Is there another squirrel? I have a love of motorcycles, Chris. It's an easy distraction because I could get on a bike and just off I go. I did Paris by motorcycle in 91, my 24th birthday. That is another show.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that was was great. And I did the road tripper with my friend john up to kiel in in north germany sometime in october of 92 as well, on another bike, um, so yeah, I mean I get distracted by by. You know, come on a road, let's do it right, drop everything that was back in the day. Now, not much distracts me. I'm pretty focused actually.

Speaker 1:

Sure thing. Okay, now a quirky or unusual fact about you that we couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us.

Speaker 2:

Right, I'm just changing mugs. This is my. I think it's a Goodfellas mug, sorry, a fact. An unusual or quirky fact about you, richard selwyn barnett, we couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us um. I once skied down a black run, age 10, which was very dangerous and didn't crash till the very end and survive. That's a boring fact, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

No, no one's ever said that before. No facts are necessarily boring.

Speaker 2:

Okay, other facts. I'm a marksman. Oh, just from from. No, just just the thing. You know the shooting ranges, and you know that was good. I got a good sort of visual thing with, with, um, focus and balance and stuff like that. So skiing, so it's quite, but that's more the sporty side of it. Uh, other fact um.

Speaker 2:

I'm hearing the analogy there of the crosshairs of connection yeah, yeah, I've got an incredible vinyl collection which is in the opposites down in the basement, the music room. Yep, one way, 55 stairs down, chris, with my bad ankle or heel. Um, yes, I've got a big vinyl. I'm a collector.

Speaker 1:

Um, yeah, there's hundreds of different facts, um we only needed one, that's one is fine and I hope you heard my idea of the crosshairs of connection, the marksman of connection, which is another iconic title for you getting people in the crosshairs, of how you can connect them with one degree of separation. Okay, we have shaken your tree, hurrah. Now we're going to stay in the clearing which is in your man den cinema, den in margate. And now we're going to talk about alchemy and gold, and you've been giving me this by the bucket load In any case, when you're at purpose and in flow, and it's very implicit in how you've been answering anyway. But how would you say what is your super imperative? What are you absolutely happiest doing in what you're here to reveal to the world?

Speaker 2:

Well, the happiest thing, what in work? Or in just social?

Speaker 1:

Alchemy and gold. When are you absolutely at your happiest? Where time just goes past. This is alchemic, it's gold.

Speaker 2:

Probably when I'm listening to a podcast in bed or driving and listening to a podcast. That's what I really go into. Audiobooks as well, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I've got some podcast back catalog for you. We're about 250 episodes in, which is exciting. Okay, now I'm going to award you with a cake, as previously advertised at the beginning, and you get to put a cherry on the cake now with stuff like what's a favorite inspirational quote? Uh, richard selwyn barnett. That's always given you sucker and pulled you towards your future.

Speaker 2:

And there are many great quotes out there, Chris, and a lot of cliches too.

Speaker 1:

Success is measured by the size of the smile on your face at the end of every day. Love that. Just say that again.

Speaker 2:

Success is measured by the size of the smile on your face at the end of every day, and the reason I said that is because everybody I grew up with it was the big dick swing, because, you know, john's got this and charles has got that, and he's got a house in the south france, he's got a villa, and he's got a boat and a ferrari, and all this it was all materialistic, um and? And who's got a bigger bank account, right? I thought that's all bullshit, right. Excuse me, are we allowed to swear on this show?

Speaker 1:

Well, keep going, I don't mind at all.

Speaker 2:

I created my own vision of success and it was about being happy at the end of the day. And I went out with a girl who drove a Volkswagen Beetle convert convertible in Arizona, scottsdale, of course. I'd met her in LA and we got friendly and she said my dad wrote one hit for Elvis and it's the biggest hit, or something. Come meet my dad or meet my mum they were split up at that time and she picks me up at the airport in this convertible. I was flying all over America in 87, convertible Beetle, and my mum lived in a kind of a normal sort of house in Scottsdale, but not the mansion bit, but the dad lived in a ranch in the desert, which was, oh, that's when I found out about royalties in perpetuity music publishing. I learned a lot from other people. This is back in 87 anyway. So we had lunch with the dad and I stayed with the mother overnight and but what was really good was, she said, you know, to be happy. She said, um, you know, because she was a hippie, basically a blonde sort of you know california hippie chick. She said you know what? She said rich, just, just just, you've got two arms, two eyes, two legs, you know you can breathe, you've got warmth, you've got people that love you. You know you don't need all the material stuff, right? Because I was obviously walking around in my geese and hawks jacket, you know, from saville row, I think, I had a, you know, a rolex watch on. You know what I mean. I was like ray bands. I was kind of mr cool, you know, and I thought you know what t-shirt and jeans, yeah, and that again started shaping me a bit about when you go to these, these meetings.

Speaker 2:

And I was in the boardroom with the billionaire cousin once and I turned up and they were all in suits, these guys, yeah, and marble arch, what the hell am I doing here? And he said come in. And you know, I thought so. I said, look, are you going to crack open the champagne now that I've arrived as a joke? And he went, uh well, to your coffee, you know. And there were these like sort of digestive biscuits. I thought, oh great, you know, this is how the billionaires roll, right, okay, so it's not all about the money.

Speaker 2:

So I then I got into the vibe of it and you know I was involved with it. Um, and one of the guys came in. He said you know you can't park your sign written mercedes, yeah, outside our boutique hotel in in the city. And I said it's a public street, it's, it's a mercedes-benz not good enough outside your hotel. Really, you're talking crap, yeah, plus, the sign writing is advertising my database of mercsellercom one of my most successful hobby businesses, by the way which haven't even touched it.

Speaker 2:

And then I just thought you know why, may with as I got up, I sort of like I did in the city when I threw my tie on the desk and told the guy you know, most powerful man in the city go fuck yourself. Yeah, I thought the same thing with them and I thought you know what? I'm just going to do my own thing. So off I went and I went to where's the end of it? I've got my mirror. Oh, I went for a drive and I drove down to Nottingham boutique hotel. They'd had a croissant for seven quid or something stupid like that.

Speaker 2:

Um, so I was never in the boardroom, I was never. I've never, I never had people around me like an entourage of people that helped me. I did it all myself, chris, all myself. I did it my way to frankston. Arlington once said I've just remembered this is the most important thing of the whole interview when I heard the song by bobby womack across 110th street first heard it yeah, probably the early 80s, it would have been maybe the late 70s. I remember the lyrics and anyone who watches this interview should go and play across 110th street by bobby, whether it's about overcoming adversity, getting out of the ghetto, you know you're a slave to, to, to sort of drug ghetto. You know you're a slave to sort of drugs dealers and stuff and you don't want to be. You know society is trying to. You know, keep you in a box type thing. You want to break out of this shit. And that was an inspirational song and the lyrics of songs are what shaped me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, okay.

Speaker 2:

Films and films is what shaped me. I'm coming back to your original question here, and so Films and films is what shaped me. I'm coming back to your original question here. Yes and so yeah.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now, in terms of the structure, what's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

Speaker 2:

I've got to think about that one, Chris. Can we come back to it? I need to answer it right now.

Speaker 1:

No, no, you can come back to it. Or, with the gift of hindsight, what notes, notes, help or advice might you offer?

Speaker 2:

to a younger great piece of advice. You get what you pay for. What you give is what you get, as in, you know, karma, return type advice, yeah yeah yeah, there's that. Yeah, yeah, um, there's also. I mean, there's so many nuggets of gold advice, um, yeah, it'll come to me.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, my brain doesn't work in this way sure, uh, we're now ramping up, finally, in a moment to talk about shakespeare, talk about legacy, but just before we get there, this is the pass the golden baton moment, please. So now you've experienced this within, who would you most like to pass the golden baton along to, to be given a damn good listening to in this way?

Speaker 2:

Mike McCartney, if he's available. Mike McCartney, obviously brother of the the friend of Roger McGough and he was in a band called the scaffold in the 60s the Roger McGough yeah, and on one of their albums I think they had Hendrix playing and the guy from the Hollies is it Graham Nash. He was singing about Jennifer Eccles.

Speaker 1:

That's a wonderful golden baton pass.

Speaker 2:

Thank, you, mike McCartney. If we can't get him, we better have a plan B. We'd have to go to Richard McCann. Richard McCann.

Speaker 1:

Thank, richard mccann, richard mccann, thank you, and if he can't go to him, then we're gonna have to go to john altman.

Speaker 2:

Fine, I'll go to john altman. Uh, who's?

Speaker 1:

who's the sixth or seventh monty python, the unofficial monty the python, you know, part of the python, so to say and when I first, first first started this show about sort of three and a half, four years ago, at the top of my tree which you now know is the metaphor was Sir Michael Palin. So the day I can speak to him as well, we'll all know that I've made it, which is wonderful. Stan Laurel is my all time, all time comic hero. Michael Palin is obviously the sort of living new version I quite like to think. Anyway, thank you for that. Now we're going to talk about shakespeare and legacy. When all is said and done, richard selwyn barnett borrowed from the seven ages of man's speech all the worlds of strategic, all the billy players, how would you most like to be remembered?

Speaker 2:

as someone who helped a lot of others out, went above and beyond most people out there was kind, generous, giving you know, compassionate, had empathy, which is sorely lacking today. The opposite of indifference. Whatever the word is. Unique, trend-setting, a maverick, a rebel with a cause. I could go on and on, but yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's a great summation.

Speaker 2:

I might come across as that, but I'm not. No, helping others out, helping others out, I think, was the main thing. So selfless type of attitude to life and the career and standing up to the bullies and circumventing you know, someone's in my way and I'm driving, I'm just going to go around them. Yeah, I'm not going to sit behind them. Um, I had a chat with a guy recently who best-selling book new york best left of boom, xcia guy in la doug lorx, la ux. Look him up, add him on linkedin. Everybody d-A-U-X. Look him up, add him on LinkedIn. Everybody D-O-U-G, l-a-u-x. Lovely fella. And he said to me you know, one thing about his life and career was that basically he went on his instincts. You know he was given a set of rules to follow, yeah, and laws and things like that, but he would always go on his instincts. And I think the saying you said about what's your favorite, saying yeah, yeah, trust your own instincts, your gut feeling, that's a good way to live.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you mentioned LinkedIn there, which is a perfect segue to this section, which is called Show Us your QR Code, please. So, if you've been listening to the show thus far, this is an opportunity to make sure you do connect to Richard Selwyn Barnett's LinkedIn profile, your opportunity to connect with the super connector. So there you are, in your one of your wonderful sort of funky shirt lunch club attire. There you are, wonderful. That's your QR code moment. I'll show you a couple of other QR codes in a moment. Your QR code moment. I'll show you a couple of other QR codes in a moment, as this has been your moment in the sunshine, in the good, listening to show Richard Selwyn Barnett. Is there anything else you'd like to say?

Speaker 2:

Let's do a set part two, Chris, because there's so many stories that never came out during this episode.

Speaker 1:

And thank you for sticking to time as we have. I think the lovely sort of comedy of getting going notwith, think the lovely sort of comedy of getting going notwithstanding, and the sort of sound, uh, feedback we had. Thank you for for being here this far. Um, I'm just going to ask you one other question now. Where can we find out all about you? We know you've got your linkedin profile, but where else would you like to point us to?

Speaker 2:

and I'll bring the now on instagram, just my name without the hyphen, just Richard Selwyn Barnett, and then you can follow me and then you can also click the love heart icon in the videos. A snapshot of my life has been compiling these kind of videos of my travels and people I knew and stuff like that. People know, you know, and I'm building my Instagram. I mean, it's early days, listen, it's great. And I'm building my Instagram. I mean, it's early days, listen it's great. And I'm putting some of my favourite music to it as well. Now, of course, you know.

Speaker 1:

And I saw there was an Elton John most recent up post as well where he's on holiday, I think in Ibiza.

Speaker 2:

Yeah someone sent me that when it was? It might be in the south, because he lives in the south of France as well. My cousin, who you might? We might pass the golden baton one day to, Andy Mason of Altitude Films, my cousin Very successful in the film industry. Anyway, he did a film with Elton and David Furnish and it was called. It's a Boy-Girl Thing. It's up there somewhere, I don't know where, but it's there.

Speaker 1:

In the archive. So to be continued. Thank you so much, um and so yes, I'm just going to finish with a couple more qr codes. This is a show in which I described, you know you can tell your story, amplify your brand, and also it gets pulled into my show on uk health radio, which has an audience reach across 54 countries of about 1.4 million listeners and growing. If you'd like a conversation about guesting too, here's another show. Show us your QR code moment. Click on that QR code if you want to, and come along If you want to connect with me on LinkedIn as well, here's another.

Speaker 1:

Show us your QR code moment. You can do that. But I'm going to play us out now with a series strand where I'm going to talk about legacy life reflections. As I mentioned, my father very sadly died at the age of 87 just over three months ago, and this is a series strand which invites you to tell the story of somebody near, dear or close to you for posterity before it's too late. Just before I play this outro, is there anything else else you'd like to say? Richard?

Speaker 2:

as there is. I want to dedicate this show to my dear, dear friend douglas maxwell, who introduced me originally to to Mike McCartney in the 90s and he passed away two years ago in South Africa and we had his memorial last May in Cornwall where it was very poignant and a lovely man, Again, one in a billion, just like Quincy Jones. Yes, you know, I mean everyone else in advertising zagged Doug Maxwell's zig. You know zigzag in advertising, zagged Doug Maxwell, zigzagged. You know the guy was, he was a mentor, he was a hero, a role model, but then he also became my cheerleader, which was odd. In the end Right Took a bit of One degree of separation.

Speaker 1:

What's so extraordinary is Mike McCartney has been introduced to me also by the Slapstick Festival here in Bristol, and I think you might already know that I'm coming for him because I'm going to be at Arbonne Animations doing an episode with him in February. I certainly will.

Speaker 2:

After we finish this episode, I will give him a phone call and I'll let him know about you, chris, because I think it's really important you do interview these people who are now in their latter years. Let's say, right, I mean, he's got to be 80 this year, mike right, I was with him a year ago in his sitting room in heswell, which is near liverpool uh, having a you know, cup of tea with him and chat with him and stuff like that. And he gave me a fantastic book that he did with paul uh, animated kids, but it was really cool. And and then also this dedicated, this very limited edition, all of his photos, unseen pictures and stuff like that that he'd taken from the sort of 50s and 60s when they were kids. And again, it's all on my Instagram. So, please, please, please, richard Selwyn Barnett, without the hyphen Instagram.

Speaker 1:

Wonderful. We're having the echo again, so you might don't press that other button. I'm just going to do the outro and thank you for listening. I've been Chris Grimes. This has been Richard Selwyn Barnett. Thank you very much indeed. Good night.

Speaker 1:

You've been listening to the Good Listening To Show with me, chris Grimes. If you'd like to be in the show too, or indeed gift an episode to capture the story of someone else with me as your host, then you can find out how care of the series strands at the goodlistening2showcom website, and one of these series strands is called Legacy Life Reflections. If you've been thinking about how to go about recording your life story or the life story of somebody close to you for posterity, but in a really interesting, effortless and creative way, then maybe the Good Listening To Show can help. Using the unique structure of the show. I'll be your host as together we take a trip down memory lane to record the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 of either your or their life story, and then you can decide whether you go public or private with your episode. Get in touch if you'd like to find out more. Tune in next week for more stories from the Clearing and don't forget to subscribe and review wherever you get your podcasts.