The Good Listening To Show: Stories of Distinction & Genius

'The Fast Show Queen' Arabella Weir (MBE). Actress, Comedian & Author of "Does My Bum Look Big in This?!", on her Journey from Childhood Severity to Adult Freedom & Expression through Comedy.

• Chris Grimes - Facilitator. Coach. Motivational Comedian

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Delighted to welcome Comedy GOLD to "The Good Listening To Show" Clearing, with "The Fast Show Queen" (as I'm calling her) Arabella Weir! As she joins me to uncover the hilarious stories behind her iconic Comedic characters, as the main female comedic protagonist in the iconic long running sketch-show TV series "The Fast Show." 

From her unforgettable catchphrase "Does my bum look big in this?" to her backstage antics with fellow comedians Charlie Higson, Paul Whitehouse, John Thomson, Mark Williams & Simon Day. Arabella's stories are sure to leave you in stitches. But it's not all laughs; she dives into the deep end of identity, body image, and the resilience that has shaped her extraordinary career.

Arabella takes us on a journey through her childhood, sharing the heartwarming influence of her Granny Shishi and the challenges posed by more critical family members. Scotland plays a starring role in her narrative, providing a rich cultural backdrop that has fueled her creativity. Listen in as Arabella candidly discusses how her "stroppiness" and feminist instincts propelled her through an industry fraught with sexism, all while maintaining her signature wit and charm.

If you’ve ever wondered what truly inspires a comedic genius, Arabella spills the beans—from lifelong friendships to the simple pleasures of chocolate biscuits and Judge Judy. Her reflections touch on the absurdities of entitlement in modern life and the joy derived from making others laugh. As she looks toward the future, Arabella shares her excitement about the upcoming "The Fast Show" tour in 2025 and reveals her ambitions for legacy and storytelling. Don’t miss this delightful episode filled with laughter, love, and the remarkable resilience of Arabella Weir.

Tune in next week for more stories of 'Distinction & Genius' from The Good Listening To Show 'Clearing'. If you would like to be my Guest too then you can find out HOW via the different 'series strands' at 'The Good Listening To Show' website.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW wherever you get your Podcasts :)

Thanks for listening!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to another episode of the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, the storytelling show that features the Clearing, where all good questions come to get asked and all good stories come to be told, and where all my guests have two things in common they're all creative individuals and all with an interesting story to tell. There are some lovely storytelling metaphors a clearing, a tree, a juicy storytelling exercise called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, some alchemy, some gold, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare and a cake. So it's all to play for. So, yes, welcome to the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me. Chris Grimes, are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin. We shall in fact begin. Welcome. This is Chris Grimes. This is the show in which I invite movers, makers, shakers, mavericks, influencers and also personal heroes. And a personal hero is here today. We have comedy gold, comedy establishment in the clearing. This is Arabella Weir, who is the fast show queen. So you're very, very welcome to the show.

Speaker 2:

That's a very nice way of putting it. Of course, I'm not a hero, I'm a heroine.

Speaker 1:

Yes, indeed, you are Quite right too. Too, I think you'll find you're called arabella helen weir. I just proving I've done some research here. You're an american born british comedian, actress, writer and presenter and, of course, best known. I saw the um well, the show again beautifully in the, the sort of the whatever it not a refurb, whatever it's called A reboot, reboot. Thank you for rescuing me.

Speaker 2:

A reboot implies that you've taken the album from, as it were, 1984. Let's say, I don't know why I've thought of this name, King Crimson. And you've taken your album from 19, it would be more like 1972. And they thought we're going to reboot it. Yes, so in fact we were re rehashing, you might say. Except for that we did write oh, there, you go with your. But it's not you, is it?

Speaker 1:

signed? Oh no, you can. When I meet you in person I'll try and give you a cake and get you to sign it, if that's what you need to do is make sure we all sign it, and then it makes it worth money uh, thank you for that tip in the right direction.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, you are the perfect comedy foil. And uh, to the likes of charlie higson, paul whitehouse, john thompson, simon day and mark williams and, of course, the sadly departed and much missed caroline ahern. You were the the two wonderful women in the show.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and I don't want to get off on a bad foot, but I think I would object I do mean object to the word foil, because that implies that I was a sidekick. And although I was often a sidekick in many of the sketches, of course I did all my own stuff as well.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you did. This is just me blowing some happy smoke at you.

Speaker 2:

oh okay, fine, then I must learn not to be so combative no, indeed, you, you are one of my favorite characters is within.

Speaker 1:

You know, painting with johnny.

Speaker 2:

It is just the most wonderful character well, I am a foil in that sketch very much so. Yes, um's a. I never, when we first started doing it, thought it was funny at all, but I can see why it's funny now. But yes, people love that.

Speaker 1:

It has stood the test of time. And also, if I may, when I was researching you an article about you, it did say, if you'll pardon this expression, you made a fortune from your bum, because of course, does my bum look big in this?

Speaker 2:

yes, I wouldn't say a fortune, but I I definitely the. The thing I always said was that my bum ended up paying for its own upkeep. Shall we say yes, yes, I was very fortunate, but does my bum look big in this?

Speaker 1:

yes, a wonderful theater, show, road tour, as well as a book. It then said you, you made your money through your big bum looking big in this and then, of course, some of it went away when you decided to get a divorce.

Speaker 2:

Is what the article said yeah, oh yes, gosh, I wonder where that was. I can't remember, but yes, probably said that a few times haven't I?

Speaker 1:

yes, well, you're very welcome to the show and also, um, I hold you in particular high esteem because I used to work with Julia Davis and I know back in the day you were very, very important in giving her a nudge in the right direction, as I understand it, where you introduced her to Steve Coogan.

Speaker 2:

That's right. I introduced her to Steve Coogan and I introduced her to well they've long split up and not very admirably but to Graham Lineham and Arthur Matthews because they put her in Big Train.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Because I said this girl's brilliant and, to be absolutely accurate, I didn't invite, I didn't introduce Julia to Steve Coogan, I introduced her to Paul Roberts, who was running the production company that Steve did his tour with, and but I said this girl's great, use her. So, yes, I've been a long-found supporter, mentor, whatever you want to say to Julia wonderful and bless you for that.

Speaker 1:

So also it's been a bit like herding cats getting you to this point, because when we nearly recorded before we're all set to go and you had a power cut and your son, archie, was on the blower to me telling me that mum's downstairs on her hands and knees trying to find the fuse box, so that was quite the fuse box.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, we had a massive power surge in the area and I kept thinking what do people who are on life support machines and everything do? Yes, but yeah, we had a massive and it was my son. Well, that was very god.

Speaker 1:

That was a long time ago then yes, well, I've been trying to merge you as a wonderful cat ever since, so welcome, thank you, and I like the fact you keep correcting me on no, no, I didn't do that.

Speaker 2:

I did this quite right too well, I think it's important because the amount of times people have gone, aren't you this and aren't you that?

Speaker 1:

and you go, no, and they go, oh, but I'm sure I read this and you go, no, that's not me anyway, here we are, and you know that lovely, very clunky question, which is deliberately to see how you either escape or answer this if someone doesn't have a reference. By the way, can I just commend you on your nails? Are you drawing them as we speak? You keep, I'm showing them off.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I very rarely have painted nails, but I painted them and yes, and now I'm enjoying them so yes, go on my, my daughter calls her nails her clackers, so can I commend you for your clackers? Arabella weir how old your? Daughter uh, she's 25 and she's called lily oh okay, clackers, never heard that I was in clacking.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, very good, very good yeah, so anyway they're called clackers, just in case you'd like to add that to the Arabella Weir family canon Look at mummy's new clackers. You can say and I've got a son called.

Speaker 2:

Oh, mum, that sounds like so gross.

Speaker 1:

And I've got a son called Stan, because I love Stan Laurel. So that's my family. I know you have another sibling, a sibling, a daughter, called Isabella. I do, anyway, I have done some research, but if at any point you need to correct me, I don't doubt that you will, which is lovely. So a clunky question when someone says, oh hello, you look interesting, what do you do? What's your favorite way of avoiding or answering that question? So how would you define what Arabella is all about?

Speaker 2:

oh, that's a good question. I'm, I would say, I'm a tv comedy performer, um, and then, but then I don't think I'm, do? I say? I think I just usually say I'm a comedy performer and writer, because I have obviously done theater, but I mainly do tv, and then, yeah, I think I just say I'm a comedy performer and writer.

Speaker 1:

Lovely, and Calendar Girls is one of your West End productions that I remember you being in.

Speaker 2:

Yes, God, I'm only making that face because yeah.

Speaker 1:

Next question so did you enjoy Calendar Girls? Then I'm taking it not really.

Speaker 2:

I was going through a very bad time and I think I was just sort of doing that thing you do when you're not, um, fully feeling like you're in control of your life and going, oh well, somebody's asked me. So yeah, whatever, rather than uh, and I would say that's been a theme throughout my career and, in fact, my um, romantic life, because I had such a little idea of what I wanted and I never believed I had choices, so I said yes to pretty much everything, um, rather than believing I had choices and thinking, well, wait a minute, say no this to this because something else will come along. It was more like, well, nothing else will come along. It was more like well, nothing else will come along. I was definitely brought up with the idea that nothing would ever come along, so I'd better just say yes to everything that came my way.

Speaker 1:

But also can I just commend with the resurgence of the Fast Show stage show. It was just such a wonderful, nostalgic, just a roller coaster of old, brilliant brilliance that stood the test of time. The old hits, the old hits, loads of bangers. I had had Charlie Higson in the show a couple of months before and I was really happy. A bit of wee came out when he gave me a free ticket because it had sold out at the Bristol Beacons. I managed to get in on one of the last squeaky tickets and it was a joy to make your well meet you there too, which is oh well, thank you.

Speaker 1:

So here we go, then. It is my great pleasure to have you here in the good listening to show. There's going to be, if I may curate you through the journey, a clearing a tree, a lovely juicy storytelling exercise called five, four, three, two, one. There's going to be some alchemy, some gold, a couple of random squirrels, a cheeky bit of shakespeare and a cake. So it's absolutely all to play for and there's an invitation and an invocation to go as deep as you like, where you like, when you like. So please do feel free to take it on the open road of wherever you feel that you'd like to. So welcome, delighted to have you here. First of all, where is what is a serious happy place or clearing for Arabella? Where do you go to get totter, free, inspirational and able to think?

Speaker 2:

if I'm on my own, then a hot bath in my own bathroom ensuite bathroom makes it sound very grand. But I bought this house a very, very long time ago and had very little money but but I was able to make an en suite bathroom so and I've got a huge bath and I lie in that, and sometimes if I'm feeling very indulgent with a glass of wine and a book, or I'll listen to a podcast and I can think there, or one of my favorite things is to make phone calls, um, you know, to have a nice long chat while I'm in the bar. But I would say, if you've only if I've got to choose one clearing happy place, it would be in my kitchen with my children and my closest friends having a nice meal and some wine, and that's probably where I'm my most happy, both beautiful answers and the.

Speaker 1:

I love the through line of the glass of wine in both situes. And did you know you share a bath with Charlie Hickson. He said a bath too.

Speaker 2:

Not in a million years will I ever be sharing a bath with Charlie Higson, but figuratively.

Speaker 1:

I'm with you. So he likes to teach her on the edge of the bath, in, I think, the acoustic of the bath, rather than being plunged in with a phone and a glass of wine and a good book and a podcast, which you do.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I like it all. I like to be in the bath, glass of wine, podcast or phone, but yeah, that's my individual happy place wonderful.

Speaker 1:

So, if you'll allow me to, um, I quite like, I'm quite enamored with the bathroom idea, because the comedy now is I'm going to arrive with a tree. You're free to cover up with bubbles and all that sort of thing, but I'm going to arrive with a tree. Metaphorically, this is a very tasteful delivery of a tree to your bath chamber and I'm now going to arrive with it with a tree. And this is deliberately a bit sort of waiting for goddard-esque because of my hefting background, where we're going to shake your tree to see which storytelling apples fall out. How do you like these apples?

Speaker 1:

And this is your answer to a lovely construct, which I hope you enjoy and enjoyed researching, called five, four, three, two. One where arabella, you've had five minutes to have thought about four things that have shaped you, three things that inspire you, two things that never fail to grab your attention and borrow from the film up. That's where the random squirrels will come in. Oh, squirrels. And then the one is a quirky, unusual fact about you. We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us it's not a memory test. Let me just reassure you of that. As I now go back, I'm going to go back to the beginning of shaking your tree, so over to you to interpret the shaking of the canopy of your tree.

Speaker 2:

So the four things that inspired me.

Speaker 1:

Who shaped you first of all?

Speaker 2:

Oh, shaped me. Yes, well, my granny. Both my parents were Scottish. My granny because my parents also went in for withholding, uh, withholding everything love, uh, support, you know, it was all very. What do you think you know? What do you think you're doing? And, um, whereas, or more of a very Scottish, who do you think you are? Someone special? Um, and that granny was very much not like that. So she shaped me because she obviously I wasn't thinking about it when I was a kid, but you, she made I felt loved and not approved of, but uncriticised around her.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't Nippy Sweetie, that was the other one, nippy.

Speaker 2:

Sweetie. I just said, didn't I Nippy Sweetie is. Well, you know, that's a fine show, just critical and I completely got it.

Speaker 1:

I was trying to work out whether she was the paternal grandmother or the maternal.

Speaker 2:

No, the loving one sorry was my mother's stepmother, funnily enough.

Speaker 1:

Ah, yes.

Speaker 2:

But she'd been my mother's stepmother long before I was born and she was just a lovely, lovely person and she taught me that you could love people and not criticize them all the time, and that that didn't make up part of how you necessarily were close to people. So, granny, her name was shishi I mean, it wasn't, that was her nickname. Granny shishi was a huge part of my shaping and therefore I would say the second thing would be scotland, because, although I never went to school in scotland, uh, you know, I'm obviously english speaking and I know I sound English, but we were brought up, my siblings and I, in foreign countries by Scots, two Scottish people, so everything was about Scotland and I remember being, when I was about five, somebody saying oh so are you English in a in we were in the Middle East and obviously I didn't. I, you know. I said yes or something and my father snapped you are not English. Um and um. So, love of Scotland, perhaps, looking back, sentimentality about Scotland, and you were.

Speaker 1:

American born. So how long was your dad an ambassador? Is that why you were away?

Speaker 2:

my dad was a career. He wasn't an ambassador then he he was a career diplomat, so he'd been posted to America for a short time. So people often think I am American, but I'm, you know, I might as well be.

Speaker 1:

I don't know.

Speaker 2:

You know, if I'd been born in Malawi I wouldn't be Malawian there. And because I think it's still true, there is some american law that if a child is born there they get claimed by the american government. So my first passport, when I was sort of nine months old, had to be american. When my parents were coming back to scotland, um, so yeah, that the second thing I would say. And also scotland was the home of the only person I knew who showed me unconditional love, so sort of Granny Shishi, and Scotland became one thing where I was happy and loved, although the other granny, who was very unkind, also lived in Scotland. But I think the whole Scotland, as embodied by Granny Shishi, played a huge part in my life.

Speaker 2:

And that we were brought up, you know, listening to scottish music, listening to scottish comedians, because when, when I was brought up in the 60s, there was no tv in the foreign countries, so you would listen to records and it would all be stanley, baxter and you know people my parents had listened to um and scottish country music. So that would be the second thing I'd say had shaped me. And I would say, given the career I ended up having, I would say my body has shaped me. Now that sounds a bit sort of what I really mean is my attitude to my body, because for as long as I can remember, I was told that I was fat and not pretty by my parents. Gosh, oh yeah. Well, I think the idea being Can I?

Speaker 1:

just ask have you had a nanny shishi in your life? Because she was, of course, the soft cushion of an otherwise very austere upbringing.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, no, no, granny never said you can't eat that. And of course, at Granny's I wasn't trying to eat packets of biscuits and stuff, but there was um. So right, for as long as I can remember, I was told that I was the wrong size and that, you know, it was just a question of um. I mean, you don't have to go far to find presbyterians saying all you need to do is eat cold porridge, or rather of that era, eat cold porridge and you'll be a better person.

Speaker 2:

Um, so I remember, early, early on in fact, there was I'd have been about six or seven and I said I'm hungry. Now remember, it's hard for people to think about, or rather to recall, but unless they're old enough but there were no ads about diets or diet books or people going on about their health regime. People didn't talk about weight and all that sort of thing in the way they do now. And I remember being about, I must, seven or eight and I said I'm hungry and my mother said good, it's good for you crikey and me, and I was the first time I remember thinking I do not understand that concept.

Speaker 2:

Not, I'm resisting it, and what do you mean? I know I'm fat, but can't I have something to eat? I literally didn't understand. I thought I've got annoying feeling in my stomach and I'm being told that's good for me, but I don't understand and do you have siblings as well?

Speaker 1:

so, or were you just? Yeah, but they weren't they were.

Speaker 2:

My brothers were sent to boarding school. They're a tiny bit older than me, but they were sent to boarding school when they were toddlers, yeah, and my sister's, five years younger than me, and you might, I mean we, she. If we all did family therapy one day, I'm sure we could all discuss this, which I won't be doing, thank you very much. But um, uh, she was. She came out as one of those stick thin just humans, you know, that have kind of long, thin, um, arms and legs, um, and anyway, yeah, I don't know well I know why it was me, because I was a sort of chunky little kid. I mean I say chunky and I don't know Well, I know why it was me, because I was a sort of chunky little kid. I mean I say chunky and I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way, and I just mean I was never one of those tiny little children you know, will-o'-the-wisps.

Speaker 1:

And how apposite that later on does my bum look big in. This was a way of really channeling all of that earlier instilled neurosis. But actually being you caught the zeitgeist in a way that well uh yes, I mean let's, let's, it's not.

Speaker 2:

Uh, it's because I mean I was absolutely. I mean I look back now and I think so you literally subconsciously chose the one career that would that would ensure that you were the wrong size. Um, you know that somehow you didn't fit because you weren't going into that career as a kind of size 10, as everybody was of the leading girls in my day. Um, you know, when I started in 1979, uh, you were going into a place where I mean people think it's incredible now, but I mean directors often used to say to me um, well, we'd like to give you the part, um, because you're very pretty, but you're too fat gordon bennett but then it was normal.

Speaker 2:

It was the 70s and early 80s and of course people said that to you because you were allowed to say that to women. Yeah, um, I mean allowed by anyway. So that's the third thing my body shape, or rather my attitude to body shape. And the fourth thing that has shaped me yes, I, I would. I think I would say my stroppiness, because it was the reason I told the story about thinking. But I don't understand. When my mom said good, you know about being hungry, was I my great good fortune is that I remember thinking fuck this. I mean, I didn't think fuck this when I was eight, but I remember thinking, no, I'm um, I mean, and very unfortunately for a lot of my teachers, I learned early on that not necessarily that it was good for me, or rather that it would work out, but that I wasn't going to lie down and just go.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay, then yes I was going to go. No, I don't understand, that's not happening. And in fact, as anybody of my generation will have had a number of times, going on to a much darker subject, the amount of times you know a bloke would expose himself to you, which happened all the time in the 60s. I don't't know why it doesn't happen, maybe it does, but I remember thinking, no, I'm not, I'm not having this. And then I would go there's a man over here with his willy out. I just remember thinking, if I'm going down, that's a great sketch right there. There's a man over here with his willy out sketch, right there, there's a man over here. It's really hard, um, but you know, if I'm going down, if I'm going to be defeated, I'm not going to do it without knowing that I didn't fight back. So my kind of this, so my stroppiness, has served me well and has very much shaped me and it's sort of an early feministic sort of instinct to.

Speaker 1:

I will not just yes, stroppiness is a great way to exemplify that, I think but yes, I think that's true.

Speaker 2:

I think it was an early form of you know, in a kid feminism. But I just remember thinking because I was told explicitly right from the beginning that my brothers were better than me. I mean, there was no question, boys are better than girls, that's it. Um, girls need I mean I remember my father explicitly saying this, even though my mother had an oxford degree uh, girls need to be thin and pretty. And so I remember thinking I, I love my brothers. But I don't remember thinking, oh well, they are actually better than me.

Speaker 2:

Of course, um, uh, but it was very, it was made very plain and everything about society was basically going girls need to be thin and pretty, first and foremost, then they can get Oxford degrees and stuff, but the first thing, they need to get through the door. So I remember thinking, not as a feminist, just as a kid of no, I don't understand, why are my brothers better than me? I did not get it. And then, of course, that easily translated to feminism, but as a kid, I just remember thinking now I've got two older brothers, so because for five years it was just the three of us and I don't understand why they are better than me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and may I ask a mommy and daddy delightful creatures that they are still with us, or are they? No, no? No long dead both of them yes, there's that wonderful liberation of you know, know that expression. Your parents F you up and you've got the great freedom of thinking. They definitely did. And no, thank you to the therapy, but all great, really powerful stuff and extraordinary conditioning as well, to then give you the antidote of then making a lot of this into comic characterizations.

Speaker 2:

Well, I remember very, very early on, god I'd'd have been I don't remember the event, but I must have been kind of free. I remember thinking I am funny. Well then, it must have just been a little girl kind of being, you know, charming or whatever you call toddlers engaging, and I remember thinking I can do this, um, or this is how I'll make people want me in the room. Yeah, I will be funny and engaging. I mean, I can't have thought it out like that at three, but I certainly had worked it out by the time I was six or seven, but I wasn't going to be the thinnest or the prettiest girl in the room, but I was definitely going to be the funniest until you comment about you know, being the wrong shape.

Speaker 1:

What I love about comedy is when the comedy of shape so stature, laurel and hardy, for example, the fat, the thin it's the outline is always very interesting, I think the one that's not doing what everybody else is doing and that's really appealing. Um, I also, but I I really really love the character you play, doreen Colin Hunt's colleague as well. I mean, that's just such a lovely character.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, no again. That is, you're right, it was a foil there. Yes, I like playing that.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to say that because you've got to be the perfect antithesis or antidote to whatever's being presented in that sort of yes and comedy improvisation.

Speaker 2:

But those characters that are so unlike me, like Doreen or like Minty in Posh Nosh that I did with Richard E Grant, where you play, where I'm playing so against type people who do go. Oh, he's such a tease. You know when people are being absolutely horrible instead of what I would say, which is why don't you go, fuck yourself.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, it's impossible for me to imagine to being in the room with um colin hunt as yes, yes, and and thanks again for mentioning the word stroppy, because that was. It was really delightful when you said I'm not a foil and you were, if I may say, a tiny bit stroppy with my early introduction, which I thank you for. That's wonderful shapeage, lovely. And now we're on to three things that inspire you, please, arabella.

Speaker 2:

Inspire, yes, uh my friends, um, having had, shall we say, at the very least, a fractious family and not particularly supportive. Uh, in my youth, or as I, you know, grew up, um, I made friends at school when I was 11, who are still my very close friends, and I have made extremely good friends along the way, and I would say my, my friends. Yeah, my close friends inspire me, they inspire me to do well, they inspire me in the efforts they make in their lives and in the things they've survived, because, you know, by this age, there's been quite a few tragedies. Um, and yes, and their belief in me, their commitment to me, inspires me, um, so the sort of collegiate friendship era was 11 onwards, is what I'm hearing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

And were you at boarding school or not?

Speaker 2:

No, they'd split up by that time. So I went to day school. Uh-huh, now that did ping. Did you hear that? But hopefully you can hear me, I didn't hear that ping, so no worries. Oh, okay, I shouldn't have said anything then, should I? Okay, I shouldn't have said anything then, should I? Um, um, I am inspired, I think, because I think I don't really want to admit to this, but because I think if I could get away with it, what I'd do is sit around at home eating chocolate biscuits and then drinking wine all day watching judge judy.

Speaker 2:

I'm always very inspired, again, by my friends, but by people who work hard yeah funny enough, I'm not inspired at all by people climbing everest and that sort of thing, because I just think why on earth would you risk your life? I mean, that just seems silly. You know you've got a lovely life. Why go up the mountain? Um, you know, oh yeah, there's a very good chance I won't make it. This time you're thinking well then, don't do it.

Speaker 1:

Um, um, whereas you'd be a really good shareholder. You clean up the stroppy share pair. Don't carry it yourself. I don't want it.

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, if you're not making it, I'm not coming up there with you. So, yes, hard work inspires me, and people who've overcome adversity. I'm always incredibly inspired by that, because I just think, you know, it's quite hard to overcome adversity and being able to see the positive and keeping going. When things have happened or you know, whether it be a I don't know disability or a tragedy or something I always think, yeah, um, that's what you need to do. You can't sit around going.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I feel so bad um, there is a lovely through line there in overcoming adversity, because you had the overcoming of your own adversity, of your slightly fractious childhood, and then now you admire it in others, so that's, that's a really resonant sort of through line in that yeah that's three, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

I think that's lovely maths right there. Yes, I think that's three. And now we're on to, uh, squirrels, you know what are your two? What? What never fails to stop you in your tracks, irrespective of anything else that might be going on for you in your, in your no doubt hectic?

Speaker 2:

well, funnily enough, I've had just an experience of it today. I'm not a man hater. I've got one at home and I keep one at home and I at all, but generally heterosexual, almost always heterosexual, but men's ability, that sort of men. I got an email today not asking who I was, not reminding me of how we'd met nothing, just saying, um, I'm in a bad place, my wife wants me to move out, could I rent a room? And I've literally not got a. You can torture me and I will not be able to tell you who this person is. And I just thought that, to me, sums up the worst of heterosexual men. You're not saying nevermind that I'm off the telly or anything like that. You're not saying You're not saying never mind that I'm off the telly or anything like that. You're not saying hello, I hope you're well, it's been a while. Or even I am still remembering that lovely lunch we had in blah and then I might be able to go. Oh, it's that guy.

Speaker 1:

Oh, so you had no trace under torture. It's just a completely random email, almost. It's almost a random email.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, except for that, he's got my email yes um, it's, and it's not spam, because he's not asking for money. Yeah, and I'm just literally thinking and it just, you know, and my dad was certainly one of them um, and again, which is where my stroppiness comes from, it's the entitlement, I suppose, is never the entitlement of some, yes, generally white, middle class, middle-aged men going no, but I want this, and you're literally going yeah, but I mean, what about me? I mean, I am actually in the room. So, even if you were pretending, what about a bit of hello? How are you a?

Speaker 1:

little bit of grace?

Speaker 2:

yes, would be nice and somebody of my age, of course, has had more. I mean, my daughter is 26, would I mean? Her and her friends would all naturally think there was something wrong with a bloke of their age. Who who said is this all right to send? Yes, I was looking at the email. I thought you're actually asking me a favor and yet you're not yes, no grace.

Speaker 2:

No charm, no nothing. You're just thinking I need something. I know I'll send her an email. So to be absolutely fair, obviously that's a very extreme example. But, in short, male, usually heterosexual, usually white, entitlement never had a bloke who is extraordinarily well educated and extremely successful in his field, world famous economist. This was the absolute. The other side, a bit more comedic, saying he fancied me and I was at least 32 at the time and I went well, I'm, I'm really sorry, but I, I just don't feel the same. And he went no, but I fancy you, yeah, I think. He said I don't know what you're not getting about this, but, um, I definitely have choice and I definitely need to fancy you back. And he absolutely couldn't get it.

Speaker 1:

And I remember thinking, oh yeah, and that guy is highly intelligent and functioning, um, so it's not like he's sort of you know on the spectrum but he's an economist with the truth or economist with self-awareness. Shall we say yes?

Speaker 2:

zero. It was just, I fancy you a lot, so off we go. No, mate, I've got sexual agency, so yeah, that's. And what's the other thing that stops me in my tracks.

Speaker 1:

If I may say, your stoppiness is your superpower. So bless you. I really do think it is.

Speaker 2:

It might have got me out of quite a lot of bad situations and also got me into quite a lot of bad situations. This sounds a bit soppy, but so what? I became a mother late and I am never. I'm always stopped in my tracks by the enormity of the love I have for my children and how lucky I am to have got them later in life, statistically late, and yeah, I mean I just I feel unbelievably lucky, unbelievably blessed, and I also I know they're mine. But I think they are exceptional young people with a really fantastic sense of social conscience and work ethic and they're good people. I'm not saying they're perfect. Of course they're a pain in the ass at times, but yeah, I never fail.

Speaker 1:

I was going to suggest that I don't doubt for a moment you've put right all of the sort of toxicity that brought you to that point where and now I'm a parent we'll put all this right her eternal credit.

Speaker 2:

Um, my mother, who was, you know, not a scintilla of maternal love, um, did she have? And one day she said, really just to be mischievous, something unpleasant about what I was doing with my then toddler little girl. And I said, she said, if I were you I wouldn't do that. And I said you know what? Um, I'm going to do everything you say as a parent. I am going to do exactly the opposite with my children. And to her eternal credit, she said, yes, well then you probably won't put a foot wrong. And I thought, well, at least you know.

Speaker 1:

Well, it's almost like the punchline of the relationship, almost accompanied by a deft punch in intent. Well said, well put.

Speaker 2:

So, yes, every time I was doing anything with my kids, I thought no, no, don't do that. That's your programming, do this.

Speaker 1:

What was your kindest, kindest, best guess on why your mum and dad would have set out on that particular path of parental effwittery?

Speaker 2:

It's not a guess, they were Scottish Presbyterian. It's all about hard work, their background, it's all about denial. There's to be no such thing, as you know, lolling about enjoying yourself all day. What would you do that for? It was about achieving, doing good, not thinking of yourself. You know? I mean, you know, scottish Presbyterian. It's not about you, it's about the world and or rather the greater good. I mean, neither of them were religious. I don't. I think I don't know. I think they were both quite damaged. They were both, um, very good looking. I think they were both very vain and, uh, I mean, they were both exceptionally good looking. So I think, you know, by any standard. So I think they were vain and wanted successful, beautiful children. I don't. I mean, of course, they loved me in their own way, but I don't think they knew.

Speaker 1:

They were, yes, attractive.

Speaker 2:

Love is a doing word.

Speaker 1:

Yes, thank you, that's really wonderful. We have shaken your tree. Oh, no, a quirky. The final is a one.

Speaker 2:

now, a quirky or unusual fact about you, arabella, that we couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us well, it's not entirely true that you couldn't possibly know it about me, but you'd have to know where to look to find this out. Um, I was in a band called bazooka joe when I was 15, and our bass player well, that's not how people know this is because, anyway, our last gig was where we'd been booked and we were very popular because we played russ. We played proper rock and roll. You know, um, bill haley, you know proper rock and roll, 1950s danceable tunes. But we also did a few songs of our own, but in that style were you playing or singing, or what were you?

Speaker 2:

doing singing yeah and uh. In 1970 oh, I'm gonna get this wrong, but let's say 76 um, we were playing st martin school of art, we were top line, top bill, and we were being supported by a band playing for the first time ever and they were booed off within under a minute and that was the Sex Pistols.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

And the reason it is out there in Wikipedia, or whatever, is because our bass player was called Stuart Goddard at the time, but he changed his name to Adamant good grief, fantastic.

Speaker 1:

So the Johnny Lyndon would he say hello Arabella, as in Mr Sex Pistols um, unlikely, but he certainly in his autobiography.

Speaker 2:

He said I am in Adam's autobiography he mentions me, but in John Lydon's I don't think he does, but then of course. But he does mention that they were supporting a band that Adam Ant was in.

Speaker 1:

Wow, wonderful.

Speaker 2:

Arguably more interesting thing that nobody could possibly know about me, but that was also very much a thing that shaped me when I was 15, at the same time, on on a Saturday, I was a checkout girl in Marks and Spencer's Saturday job and I was offered full-time employment there. See, if you don't, uh, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Speaker 1:

I was a freezer checker. Yes, I was head Saturday boy at Safeways and they offered me a full-time job as well. Thank you.

Speaker 2:

I know, you see how they knew what they were doing in those days it's a small world but I wouldn't want to hoover it.

Speaker 1:

But just last week I was interviewing somebody for an internal corporate thing called he was called Christos Adamantiadis, a Greek man, and I was able to point out that he had the name of a 70s 80s superstar embedded in his surname, which he hadn't appreciated till I told him and he went what, Adamantiadis? Anyway, we move on. We've shaken your tree and now we stay in your clearing, which is in your bathtub, and I'm still intruding. But you've got lots of bubbles up, that's all good. And now we're going to talk about alchemy and gold. When you're at purpose and in flow, Arabella Weir, Fast Show, Queen, what are you absolutely happiest doing in what you're here to reveal to the world? So when are you absolutely your happiest?

Speaker 2:

if it's professionally, I would say I'm my absolutely happiest making people laugh. I really really love doing that and I did a live show on my own first time I'd ever done a solo show and I really I couldn't believe. I thought, oh my god, I've written this and all these hundreds of people are laughing and they're right in the room with me. So I like that very much and that's the fruits of your labor. You know, if you've been working hard to do that and honing something. But probably if I had to distill that into one thing, I don't think I'm ever happier than when I'm doing the South African makeup lady from the Fast Show, because I have so enjoyed doing that Durban accent and I have honed it and absolutely perfected it and I absolutely love it. And she was such a vile woman and I based her on a very unpleasant woman called Ilsa. So I love, love, love doing that.

Speaker 1:

Can you say now fence for me. Me, because our family was saying that.

Speaker 2:

Na Fins? No, she's not. No, it's not no. Are you coming to my house na na or right na? When they say no, they say na Fins. I see that you're bored. Na Fins, I see that you're losing your hair. Na Fins, yeah, oh, my God, I love doing that. Love, love, love, loved it. Um, and then in not worky way, I mean, I'm never happier than when I'm with my kids and my friends. Yes, um, I did a. I got an MBE last week. Congratulations, thank you. And there was a lunch. I mean, I did a lunch afterwards, where that sounds very swanky. But the restaurant said would you like our private room? And I went well, no, not if it's extra money. And they went no, it won't be. And I looked around the table and I thought I've got all the people I love most in the world and it was my kids and my closest friends. And I thought, oh, no, this is nice. Oh, and I was drinking, of course. So that's obviously my happiest.

Speaker 1:

Red wine is still there, of course it wasn't red wine, mate, it was champagne.

Speaker 2:

I'd been gonged.

Speaker 1:

I'd been gonged, but yeah, I've got some really, really close friends and I'm very lucky indeed. Lovely answer, thank you so much, and now, finally, we award you with a cake. So do you like cake, arabella?

Speaker 2:

I would do a self-deprecating, stupid answer. That would be nice, that wouldn't let my parents off the hook. But uh, because? Well, does she look like she likes cake? Aye, um, uh, yes, I do like cake very much indeed what cake would you like, please? And you get to put a cherry on the cake in a moment oh, I mean I'm on death row and you're saying we can get the cake through. It's the. I might go. I was gonna say chocolate, but I think I might go carrot.

Speaker 1:

This is a bit of a carrot cake dog's toy. So look at that, get in.

Speaker 2:

I think I might go carrot not too heavy on the frosting. I love you know when you get sort of, but otherwise I might go. I mean a really good chocolate cake.

Speaker 1:

I like the fact you interpreted it as I'm on death row.

Speaker 2:

This is the Good Listening To show, not the death row podcast, but anyway, no but it's just, you know you're on death row, you know it's cake or death, and you go oh, I've got one bit of cake to go. I think I'll, will it be?

Speaker 1:

That's more the Kathy Burke construct. She's got a wonderful podcast about what you do when you're at the pen, yes, and Kathy, yes.

Speaker 2:

Uh, what do you do? But um, I always think of it. You know, you've got one last time to eat pudding. What's it going to be? I? Love that um, um, um, very rude and you'll have to block your ears. But my sister used to play a game of fuck or die, so you know this is the last bloke on earth you can have sex with. Or would you rather die and you go?

Speaker 1:

I think I'll die, um, you might go back to the world renowned economist that you mentioned earlier on with. That was a bit economy economically.

Speaker 2:

I think I've chosen death.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to yep, I'm going to kill myself, and now, uh, you get to put a cherry on the cake. Is the whole point of me wibbling on about cake? So now, what's a favorite inspirational quote?

Speaker 2:

adobella weir, that's always um well, pulled you towards your future and given you sucker oh, it's a bit sort of, you know, it's a bit um fridge magnet, um homily, but it would be be yourself, be yourself, because you're never. There's nothing else to be. Don't be what other people want, just be yourself. But of course, finding out what you want and who you are is very difficult. So saying be yourself is easily enough. You've got to find out who you are in the first place, but be yourself know thyself, be yourself, because everyone else is taken.

Speaker 1:

I love that. That's a famous. That is the who's, that wonderful character that Stephen Fry very famously played, oscar Wilde.

Speaker 2:

It's an oscar wild quote be yourself, because everyone else is taken, isn't it? Well, the one I love is burns, which is all that god would give us, to give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us. And given that burns was unbelievably promiscuous, you think, yeah, mate, what about starting with you? Um, but yes, oh, that we would have the gift to see ourselves as others see us. But I actually don't know whether that I mean. It's very important to see yourself, to know thyself, but I think be yourself is my takeaway.

Speaker 2:

Love that my cherry.

Speaker 1:

Thanking you please. And now, with the gift of hindsight, what notes, help or advice might you proffer to a younger version of yourself? And pick an age?

Speaker 2:

Don't sleep with everybody who fancies you, don't sleep with every boy who asks you to sleep with them, because there will definitely be others. And I would say that starts with me at about 15, 16 and probably last, till I was 38. Um, I just well, I was, I was brought up with you're not good enough, you're not special enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not thin enough. So when anything, in the unlikely event, anything comes your way of work opportunities or boy interest boy in my case, because I'm heterosexual um, the idea that I might be able to say actually, um, I, I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I'm special enough to not want you yes, or to be allowed to say no, thank you, thank you for your interest, but no, thank you. Um, never even occurred to me.

Speaker 2:

It was that you just have to say yes to everything I love that that's not entirely true, because it makes me sound like I've had sex with every single person who ever said it. But yes, I definitely never thought wait a minute, do I fancy you? It was like, oh, this, really all the girls want this boy, and he's set his cap at me. I better say yes, and then always thinking did I really want to do this?

Speaker 1:

um so yeah, that would be the advice I'd give to my younger self lovely and what's the best piece of advice you've ever been given by somebody else?

Speaker 2:

never drive in shoes you care about.

Speaker 1:

Would you like to tell us a tiny bit more about that?

Speaker 2:

My mother was very posh and someone said have you got some advice to give your daughter? And obviously everyone thought it was going to be you know, only ever marry a man you love. Don't marry for money, marry for love. Or you know, plough your field professionally and work hard. Yes, never drive in shoes you care about.

Speaker 1:

Thanks, mum. I'm very happy I'm speaking to you and not your mum in this podcast. Thank you very much. And now we're ramping up to shortly, uh, to talk about legacy and how you'd most like to be remembered, and in fact, just before we get there. If I may, this is the pass the golden baton, please. Now you've experienced this from within, in this slightly slightly surreal landscape or story scape the good listening to show. Who would you most like to? They don't like it up on mr manoring, but who would you like to pass the golden baton along to to keep the golden thread of the storytelling going?

Speaker 2:

Oh, does it have to be a famous person, do you think? No it can be whoever you think would be best gifted. Um, I know I'm supposed to have thought about this beforehand, but I don't think I did think about this one, my daughter.

Speaker 1:

Oh, how lovely Isabella is. Who that is Isabella Weir, yeah, isabella Weir. So your mission should you just accept it is to furnish me with a warm introduction to Isabella Weir, and then I'll, if I may, I'll give her a good listening to in this context.

Speaker 2:

Oh God, no god, no, no, not the podcast. Sorry, you meant on the podcast. I thought you meant, like you know, in the world. Um, no, no, I know who I want to pass this on to. I'm glad, sorry, pay attention. Um, uh, rosie jones rosie jones. Thank you I think he's wonderful um.

Speaker 1:

She's quite high profile at the moment yes, yes, yes, gosh, thank you that fascinating and wonderful.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much, but you're definitely removing isabella weir from the equation oh my god, she'd kill me, she'd absolutely kill me, if I said by the way, darling, they want you on this podcast. You go.

Speaker 1:

Uh, what mummy are you absolutely mad? Yes, so thank you for qualifying and correcting. That's good and now inspired by shakespeare. By the way, the clocks have gone forward. Have you noticed? We're going to be in the dark together soon in your bathroom, yeah, getting darker. I look more like count dracula the more it gets into the dark of night. Anyway, inspired by shakespeare, and all the worlds are saved. This is the actual. Well, it's not a first failure, but this is the actual complete works I bought for myself when I went to the br Old Vic Theatre School. It says Chris Grimes, 6986. Thank you, thank you very much. That's an authentic prop. Thank you. Julia Davis and I subsequently were in a comedy improvisation company together called Morphoulas. That was our connection.

Speaker 2:

Morphoulas, that's good.

Speaker 1:

And then now I run one called Instant Wit. Thank you, anyway. Now we're going to talk about Shakespeare. How, when all is, said and done.

Speaker 2:

would you most like to be remembered? Loyal, funny and hardworking? Yeah, I think that's probably it and sassy if we can. What was that? Well, you didn't use this um stroppy, stroppy, stroppy, hardworking. Uh, loving, I think I'd like to be remembered as very loving wonderful.

Speaker 1:

Where can we find out all about you? On the old hinterweb? So you can. I can actually do something quite clever here, which is uh, show us your qr code please. I've prepared this one to your agents. If anyone thinks oh, let's go, would you like the qr code of your agent flapping about for a minute there?

Speaker 2:

yeah, look at that um, I don't mind or is there anywhere else?

Speaker 1:

I mean, there's stuff about.

Speaker 2:

There's well, the probably I was going to say on. Well, on BBC iPlayer you can see all of Two Doors Down, which I loved, loved, loved making.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But probably, since I wrote it as well and I'm playing so against type on YouTube you can see all of the show my spoof cookery show that I wrote with John Cantor starring Richard E Grant and me bookery show that I wrote with John Cantor starring Richard E Grant and me, where and it's all on it's called Posh Nosh and I don't think I've ever had as much fun doing that as I did. And because we made up all these, now you've got to thoroughly embarrass the carrots here, because otherwise they will get depressed, because we were just taking the and it was yeah, that's on youtube, so you can see that if you're interested. Um, and I don't know what else, I mean wikipedia, that's not entirely right, but it's mainly right. Um, and uh, yeah, I don't know when I'm next. Well, the fast show is coming. We're doing a tour again in 2025 ah, it's coming back back, lovely.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes, back, yes more re-re-re-reboot re-re-re love that we're doing that again because we all love doing that and I've had charlie and you in the clearing so far.

Speaker 1:

I will try and chip away on the other lovelies as well, because I think it's a wonderful show and yes, you can see, yeah, you can see two doors down on bbci player and, um, yeah, I'm, I'm around and about bless you, uh, so, uh. Final question, as this has been your moment in the sunshine, in the good listening to share, is there anything else you'd like to say?

Speaker 2:

this is where I leave a really long gap and go um. No, I can't think. I think we've pretty much covered everything. I've done what I always do, which is like of my parents tick um, gone on about how fat I was, tick um, I think I failed to say how incredibly pretty I was when I was young and how I should have definitely made more of that.

Speaker 1:

Lovely Well. Thank you so much for saying yes and for being here in the Good Listening 2 show clearing. You've been listening to the Good Listening 2 show with me, chris Grimes. If you'd like to be in the show too, or indeed gift an episode to capture the story of someone else with me as your host, then you can find out how care of the series strands at the goodlistening2showcom website, and one of these series strands is called Legacy Life Reflections.

Speaker 1:

If you've been thinking about how to go about recording your life story or the life story of somebody close to you for posterity, but in a really interesting, effortless and creative way, then maybe the good listening to show can help. Using the unique structure of the show, I'll be your host as together we take a trip down memory lane to record the five, four, three, two, one of either your or their life story, and then you can decide whether you go public or private with your episode. Get in touch if you'd like to find out more. Tune in next week for more stories from the Clearing and don't forget to subscribe and review wherever you get your podcasts.