Ladies n' Genminminmin' (er, min...) please welcome Chris White to "The Good Listening To Show" to talk all about "Navigating Gender Fluidity": All things identity & sexuality through the lens of both of his children and their gender choice experiences: Both originally born "female" but now both identifying differently as "non-binary" and "gender-fluid" respectively.
What does Gender Fluidity mean to and for you? What are YOUR preferred pronouns? What exactly is a "Dead Name"? And what can sometimes happen if you get any of all that wrong in the ears of the receiver?
Here to help us to navigate the subtlety, nuance and complexity of all of the above is outdoor running nut and extreme Marathon runner Chris White, who recently 'laughed in the face' (as his face and beard both froze!) of temperatures of -9, going 'full feral Wim Hof', running here in the UK!
Here for background is what Chris told me about before we spoke:
"Have now discussed with both offspring & they are very much onboard. So, some info on each of them below. I've also discovered this article which explains well the differences between gender and sex (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232363#identity-and-expression)
Max (17 years old) - is of the female sex - but came out as non-binary in November 2020 & legally changed their name to Max in Dec 2021. Their "dead name" is Sophie - though we learned to avoid using that name as part of their identity & it's now quite reassuring that I think of them as Max (and the hiking socks I'm currently wearing as I write this have literally "Cool Max" written on them 🙂). Their preferred pronouns are they/them (which can get a little confusing when I say that they have gone to the shops - as could mean one or both of them! there are others that can be used - see https://www.them.us/story/gender-neutral-pronouns-101-they-them-xe-xem).
They felt uncomfortable being seen as a woman & when they came out as non-binary it felt that everything had clicked into place for them. They are not big on labels & just see themselves as "I am me". Coming out was definitely positive for them & made them feel more comfortable. Helps that the college they go to (UCB - University College Birmingham) has gender neutral changing rooms as well as male and female. Max does struggle where there that isn't available & often plump for the gender-neutral disabled toilets (or unisex toilets if available).
Vi (19 years old) - is also of the female sex - but came out as gender fluid within the last year (encouraged by Max coming out I'd think as it made them reflect on their identity). They sometimes have feminine feelings, sometimes masculine - but usually feels neither. Their preferred pronouns are They/She/He - in that order as that is in the order of where they usually are feeling - it fluctuates. Their name was Beth (Elizabeth) & they are not overly bothered if they are referred to as that - but they prefer Vi as is a more gender-neutral name. Legally they are still Elizabeth. They are quite happy to use female toilets.